Showing posts with label Dueling Peaks Stable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dueling Peaks Stable. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
Monday, April 23, 2018
Forests, Swamps, and Plains: Ah Yes, the Three Genders
I continue looking off into the horizon, still dumbfounded by the sight of the dragon flying across the sky. He doesn’t seem to be coming back, though, so I should probably get moving. I climb down from my perch, once again just outside the Outpost Ruins.
I utilize my backtracking trip to stock up on ingredients. I grab some bugs and plants from the fields and forests, fish and snails from the Squabble River, and even do a little bird and fox hunting. I say hello to Giro, and replenish my gemstones when I travel back through Dueling Peaks. By the time I am back at the stable, my pockets are once again full.
I say hi to Fabio, feeding him an apple. Did ya miss me buddy? I stand over near the fire and Sagessa, opening my inventory to take stock. I’ve got a decent amount of just about everything right now. I’m good on food and weapons, though I could stand to find some more arrows. I guess it is time to head towards Hateno Village.
The village is to the east of Dueling Peaks and the stable. I’ll need to go around the Ash Swamp and Blatchery Plain, and through Fort Hateno. I see a path on my map, but of course, we need to explore the area a little first.
Right behind the stable is a massive plain. It’s made up of three distinct areas: First in the northern section is the Ash Swamp. To the south of that is the Bubinga Forest, where I went hunting for my first horses for the contest. And finally in the eastern corner we have Blatchery Plain, presumably a grassland area just outside the fort. And here we go, exploring all of them.
I wander through the forest, scouring the trees for goodies. I find more ingredients of course, and a few other odds and ends. I find not one but two of the blue rupee rabbits, netting myself some coin. I also find two Koroks! The first is under a rock on top of a very large tree in the center of the forest. I found it as I was searching for bird eggs in the treetops. The second required some balloon popping. On a hilltop, I find another pinwheel on top of a boulder, and taking out my bow, three balloons appear in the air. Shooting them down gets me my 24th Korok seed.
The rest of the forest is clear, just a group of horses peacefully trotting along the riverbank. It’s beautiful.
Time to go mucking in that swamp.
The area lives up to its name, an I see a number of shallow ponds dotting the landscape. Ruins litter that Ash Swamp as far as the eye can see. No full buildings, just parts of walls, columns, all woven throughout the grassy hills and ponds. And of course where there are ruins, there are usually one or two of the no longer functioning guardians. I see multiple herds of horses milling about as well, but no enemies just yet.
There are plenty of bugs and ingredients - my pockets are starting to get full - and I even find a chest containing some more fire arrows. Eventually I do come across the occasional small group of bokoblins, no full fledged camp. I find something odd in the southern part of the swamp. A bunch of swords all stuck in the ground. Traveler’s Claymores, all of them, like some kind of marker. Or a grave. Three bokoblins roam the area, as do some chus. Guarding nearby a chest with a Double Axe. Nothing else though.
Until I move north that is. I don’t recognize the sound at first. It has been so long since I had to worry about being sniped with a laser. They were simpler times… Time before the reappearance of those fucking Decayed Guardians. I wandered a bit to close to one in the swamp, and am now scraping bits of myself off some rocks. Sigh. I mark it’s location on my map, so I know to avoid it now.
This game never wants to let me just relax.
After I respawn, I make sure to give a wide bearth to the guardian, and head north, along the path that would normally take me to Kakariko. It forks just before the Kakariko Bridge, and leads east through Fort Hateno. The path is actually fairly quiet. A river that ends in Lake Siela runs to my left before some more mountains begin to crop up. Once I see that I’ve passed most of the swamp, I head off the path to the south.
It looks like a big one. It’s hard to get an exact headcount, the tall grass reaching up to the bokoblin’s heads. I think there are around 8 of them. I see three separate watchtowers, two manned by ‘blins and the third housing the camp’s chest. There are no easy vantage points and everything is very spread out. Here we go.
I try to utilize the tall grass to my advantage, crouching and sneaking as close as I can to the first watchtower. Taking at least one of these out is the priority, then we can see about the second one or take care of a few on the ground. I do manage to take him out, but not before alerting the rest of his compatriots. Time for a brawl.
I switch to a two handed weapon, a Boko Bat I stole earlier, so that I can fling a few of the enemies away. The main issue right now is their numbers. I see one of the dark skinned variety among the red ones, I’ll leave him for last if I can help it.
I manage to kill a few of the red guys with a few sword swings, even flinging the stronger 'blin away with their corpses. But still, they manage to get a few licks on me. That asshole on the watchtower has terrible aim at least. I try to kill a few more of the reds before taking him out with two arrows to the chest. That just leaves one remaining red guy, and the black one. I gather up all of the fangs, horns, and guts I can once the dust has cleared.
The chest I get to open for all my troubles? An Opal. Fuck you.
I scour the rest of the southern plain, though I largely find it devoid of anything terribly interesting. More ingredients, a few stray bokoblins. There’s a raft in the river that runs between the plains and Fort Hateno’s wall. Time to look north. I begin exploring along the mountainside, eventually finding a tunnel. After killing some keese within, I approach the exit cautiously, the damned decayed guardians causing me to second guess things. But it’s a good thing I did.
I see someone, or something, bouncing around the sky. As if they were walking or skipping across an invisible platform in the sky. I can’t get a good view from this angle though, it keeps moving out of my view and I don’t want it to see me before I know what it is. Time for some climbing.
I head back out the entrance to the tunnel and proceed to climb up the mountain and over it. Then once I can walk, I carefully creep down the other side, towards the weird bouncing creature. I pull out my scope to get a better look.
I’m...still not sure what this is exactly. But going based on it’s coloring, it's fire based. There is also a burned out building behind it, so that's a clue too. The weapon it’s holding also seems to be glowing with energy, so I’m guessing it’s got fire powers as well. I’ve got some ice arrows, but not many so I’d like to hang onto those for now. Let’s just see if we can get a few licks in with some Remote Bombs and arrows first.
Pulling out the round bombs, I wait until the creature is close enough, and toss it down the side of the mountain. As it rolls and and bounces, it gets the attention of my fire friend. Once his curiosity draws him close enough, I pull the trigger, sending him flying.
He doesn’t notice me.
So, I continue to cheese my way through this fight, eventually defeating the whatever it was. I climb down the mountain to collect my spoils. Oddly, the creature doesn’t seem to have left anything behind except it’s weapon - a Fire Rod! Fucking awesome!!! I equip it, watching the way the flames animate up the hilt, igniting the tip. So cool.
I exit the riverside alcove through the tunnel, back out onto the plains. Time to finish exploring! I head east, towards the fort aaaaaaaand....
Fucking lasers. Just fuck you.
I’m going to the fort.
Heart Containers: 5
Shrines Completed: 8
Koroks Found: 24
Sword Graveyard: Creepy
Ash Swamp: Swampy
Laser Shooting Robots: Every-fucking-where
Outpost Ruins
I was pretty thorough with my previous exploration, but I go ahead and give it another once over, taking out the bokoblins that have since respawned under the blood moon. I do the same further up the road with the East Post Ruins, before crossing back over Proxim bridge, past Brigo. Keep up the good work, buddy. |
| Oh, hey! |
I say hi to Fabio, feeding him an apple. Did ya miss me buddy? I stand over near the fire and Sagessa, opening my inventory to take stock. I’ve got a decent amount of just about everything right now. I’m good on food and weapons, though I could stand to find some more arrows. I guess it is time to head towards Hateno Village.
The village is to the east of Dueling Peaks and the stable. I’ll need to go around the Ash Swamp and Blatchery Plain, and through Fort Hateno. I see a path on my map, but of course, we need to explore the area a little first.
Right behind the stable is a massive plain. It’s made up of three distinct areas: First in the northern section is the Ash Swamp. To the south of that is the Bubinga Forest, where I went hunting for my first horses for the contest. And finally in the eastern corner we have Blatchery Plain, presumably a grassland area just outside the fort. And here we go, exploring all of them.
 |
| Oh, I did not miss these fuckers at all. |
Bubinga Forest
Let’s start where we have already been. Now that I’m not worried about sneaking up on any of these horses, I can enjoy the scenery a little more. Right as soon as I kill this fucking Octorock. This one seems to be of the land variety. It actually seems more like a Deku Scrub from Ocarina of Time but I’m guessing those aren’t in this game.I wander through the forest, scouring the trees for goodies. I find more ingredients of course, and a few other odds and ends. I find not one but two of the blue rupee rabbits, netting myself some coin. I also find two Koroks! The first is under a rock on top of a very large tree in the center of the forest. I found it as I was searching for bird eggs in the treetops. The second required some balloon popping. On a hilltop, I find another pinwheel on top of a boulder, and taking out my bow, three balloons appear in the air. Shooting them down gets me my 24th Korok seed.
The rest of the forest is clear, just a group of horses peacefully trotting along the riverbank. It’s beautiful.
 |
| Party. |
Ash Swamp
There are plenty of bugs and ingredients - my pockets are starting to get full - and I even find a chest containing some more fire arrows. Eventually I do come across the occasional small group of bokoblins, no full fledged camp. I find something odd in the southern part of the swamp. A bunch of swords all stuck in the ground. Traveler’s Claymores, all of them, like some kind of marker. Or a grave. Three bokoblins roam the area, as do some chus. Guarding nearby a chest with a Double Axe. Nothing else though.
Until I move north that is. I don’t recognize the sound at first. It has been so long since I had to worry about being sniped with a laser. They were simpler times… Time before the reappearance of those fucking Decayed Guardians. I wandered a bit to close to one in the swamp, and am now scraping bits of myself off some rocks. Sigh. I mark it’s location on my map, so I know to avoid it now.
 |
| Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck |
This game never wants to let me just relax.
Blatchery Plain
The area lives up to its name: a lot of plains. It also seems to be full of bokoblins. As I walk the path, I find a few bokoblins on the path waiting to ambush me. Then I see a full fledged bokoblin camp, just outside the Ash Swamp. Time to clean it out!It looks like a big one. It’s hard to get an exact headcount, the tall grass reaching up to the bokoblin’s heads. I think there are around 8 of them. I see three separate watchtowers, two manned by ‘blins and the third housing the camp’s chest. There are no easy vantage points and everything is very spread out. Here we go.
I try to utilize the tall grass to my advantage, crouching and sneaking as close as I can to the first watchtower. Taking at least one of these out is the priority, then we can see about the second one or take care of a few on the ground. I do manage to take him out, but not before alerting the rest of his compatriots. Time for a brawl.
 |
| I'm getting pretty good at this. |
I manage to kill a few of the red guys with a few sword swings, even flinging the stronger 'blin away with their corpses. But still, they manage to get a few licks on me. That asshole on the watchtower has terrible aim at least. I try to kill a few more of the reds before taking him out with two arrows to the chest. That just leaves one remaining red guy, and the black one. I gather up all of the fangs, horns, and guts I can once the dust has cleared.
The chest I get to open for all my troubles? An Opal. Fuck you.
I scour the rest of the southern plain, though I largely find it devoid of anything terribly interesting. More ingredients, a few stray bokoblins. There’s a raft in the river that runs between the plains and Fort Hateno’s wall. Time to look north. I begin exploring along the mountainside, eventually finding a tunnel. After killing some keese within, I approach the exit cautiously, the damned decayed guardians causing me to second guess things. But it’s a good thing I did.
I see someone, or something, bouncing around the sky. As if they were walking or skipping across an invisible platform in the sky. I can’t get a good view from this angle though, it keeps moving out of my view and I don’t want it to see me before I know what it is. Time for some climbing.
I head back out the entrance to the tunnel and proceed to climb up the mountain and over it. Then once I can walk, I carefully creep down the other side, towards the weird bouncing creature. I pull out my scope to get a better look.
I’m...still not sure what this is exactly. But going based on it’s coloring, it's fire based. There is also a burned out building behind it, so that's a clue too. The weapon it’s holding also seems to be glowing with energy, so I’m guessing it’s got fire powers as well. I’ve got some ice arrows, but not many so I’d like to hang onto those for now. Let’s just see if we can get a few licks in with some Remote Bombs and arrows first.
 |
| Just call me Wile E. Coyote. |
Pulling out the round bombs, I wait until the creature is close enough, and toss it down the side of the mountain. As it rolls and and bounces, it gets the attention of my fire friend. Once his curiosity draws him close enough, I pull the trigger, sending him flying.
He doesn’t notice me.
So, I continue to cheese my way through this fight, eventually defeating the whatever it was. I climb down the mountain to collect my spoils. Oddly, the creature doesn’t seem to have left anything behind except it’s weapon - a Fire Rod! Fucking awesome!!! I equip it, watching the way the flames animate up the hilt, igniting the tip. So cool.
I exit the riverside alcove through the tunnel, back out onto the plains. Time to finish exploring! I head east, towards the fort aaaaaaaand....
Fucking lasers. Just fuck you.
I’m going to the fort.
Heart Containers: 5
Shrines Completed: 8
Koroks Found: 24
Sword Graveyard: Creepy
Ash Swamp: Swampy
Laser Shooting Robots: Every-fucking-where
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Monday, February 19, 2018
That's A Very Nice Set of...Maracas You Have There
Satisfied with my progress at the stable, I wait for morning by the campfire before finishing the trek to Kakariko. On my way out, I talk to the twins Domidak and Prissen. I want them to know I found the treasure before they did, but I can’t. They just continue to mock me and say I’ll never find it. I suppose Link is more modest than myself. With nothing else to do here, I hop on Fabio and set off for Kakariko Village and Impa.
I say goodbye to Toma and cross the bridge without issue. No monsters so far, but a lot of ingredients to pick up. I find something new, an Armorrant. Looks like a flower, but I guess it’s edible. It’ll raise my defense when used to cook with. Cool. I also find some Ironshrooms that do the same, and some random flowers and bugs as well. I’m climbing off Fabio every few meters just so I can hop off and gather up all the shiny objects I can hold. Klepto Link, you’d fit right at home in an Elder Scrolls game.
As the path rounds the mountain, I can see down the cliffs below into a massive forest. Trees and hills dot the landscape and I can see another tower off in the distance. Wonder when I’ll get sent there.
Not much further up and I see another person on the road. Well, maybe a person. From a distance, I first thought it might be a Goron - a brown, vaguely pear-shaped blob. But as I got closer I can see that it’s actually a giant Korok. Like, massive compared to Link. He’s got what looks like a treetop sprouting from his head as hair, big bushy eyebrows (made of wood), and a satchel around his waist.
Hetsu is his name. Hey, that first Korok told me about you! And aww, he’s so sad. Someone stole something from him - his maracas! Poor guy. As a latino, I feel your pain. The culprits are still nearby though, and I can help him get them back. After agreeing, I see a new side quest has started.
I leave Fabio with Hestu, as my targets are only just up the path. A couple of rocky outcroppings with a small tunnel seems to be their base. Walking in that way seems like it would be a trap, so let’s put this new Climbing Bandana to good use.
I climb up the rocks until I am above the thieves. It’s a trio of dark colored bokoblins. I can see a locked chest on a platform, and I bet that’s holding the maracas. The bokoblins have’t noticed me at all yet, but that could change if I daly. So let’s not. I pull out my bow and knotch it - and then change the arrow type. Perfect time to test out these bomb arrows, don’t you think?
One explosion and 3 dead bokoblins later, I am pleased to say bomb arrows are very strong. Even stronger than my Remote Bombs, I think. One chest-unlocking fanfare later, I hop down from my perch, gather up their remains, and open my chest. Maracas ho!
I walk back out to the path and down to Hestu, who is waiting patiently with Fabio. Hestu is so very happy to get his maracas back. Sadly though, they are empty and can't make any noise. Bummer, dude. Then he sniffs the air - he smells the Korok Seeds on me. In exchange for giving him one, he will expand one of my inventory spaces! So that’s what they are for! I say yes and select weapons, and he does a very elaborate dance for me, culminating in a loud *pop* and explosion of leaves, as I see my weapon inventory except by one. He allows me to do this one more time, charging me two seeds instead of one, and after another dance I have another slot. After that, he says he has to get going back to the Korok Forest. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again soon enough buddy!
I hop back on Fabio and continue up the mountain path to the village. The road narrows as we enter a valley, a natural barrier for the town. I pass a few oddities on the way. The first is on my left - a fairly obvious Korok puzzle. Two sets of metal cubes, one with a “loose” cube, and I have to use it to make them match. Poof, there he is: Korok!
The second is a little more interesting. So, I’m headed to Kakariko Village, a place in Zelda games where historically the Sheikah Tribe live or originated. I’ve had several run-ins with them so far in the form of the towers and shrines, and other places, and this is no exception. As I get closer to the town, I pass under some awnings featuring various symbols. Triangles, eyes, what have you. All symbols I am familiar with, the Sheikah tribe and the Hylian Royal Family.
Rain gently falls as Fabio slows to a trot. I pass under the final gate and the town’s name flashing on my screen. I see a white-haired woman sitting under a tree, and she greets me. She asks who I am, but then takes notice of my Sheikah Slate and seems to understand. She points me to Impa, at the center of town. I thank her and allow Fabio to continue on the path through the town, the building I’m looking for at the bottom near the waterfalls.
The skies clear as Fabio makes his way to the center. The town is big, and if it’s not geographically bigger than past iterations then it’s at least more populated. I pass by a number of white haired men and women, even see a few children. There’s farms, cuckoos, shops. It’s honestly lovely.
I stop Fabio once he’s reached the bottom of the town’s hill, Impa’s house ahead of me.
Time to see what’s next.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 7
Koroks Found: 17
Maracas Recovered: 2
Inventory Spaces Expanded: Also 2
Eyes Shot Out: 1
 |
| A lot of NPCs, a lot of bad haircuts. |
Kakariko Bridge
After rounding a small mountain, I spot another bridge ahead of me, this time stone. I also see someone approaching me on horseback. It’s a woman with short, brown hair. Her name is Toma, and she loves fashion. Apparently, Kakariko Village has some of her favorite stuff too. She’s not a merchant though, just a traveler. Like me, I guess. I think these one-off NPCs add some nice flavor to the world. Not everyone has to give me a quest or try and help me save the world.I say goodbye to Toma and cross the bridge without issue. No monsters so far, but a lot of ingredients to pick up. I find something new, an Armorrant. Looks like a flower, but I guess it’s edible. It’ll raise my defense when used to cook with. Cool. I also find some Ironshrooms that do the same, and some random flowers and bugs as well. I’m climbing off Fabio every few meters just so I can hop off and gather up all the shiny objects I can hold. Klepto Link, you’d fit right at home in an Elder Scrolls game.
 |
| Majestic music plays. |
Not much further up and I see another person on the road. Well, maybe a person. From a distance, I first thought it might be a Goron - a brown, vaguely pear-shaped blob. But as I got closer I can see that it’s actually a giant Korok. Like, massive compared to Link. He’s got what looks like a treetop sprouting from his head as hair, big bushy eyebrows (made of wood), and a satchel around his waist.
Hetsu is his name. Hey, that first Korok told me about you! And aww, he’s so sad. Someone stole something from him - his maracas! Poor guy. As a latino, I feel your pain. The culprits are still nearby though, and I can help him get them back. After agreeing, I see a new side quest has started.
The Priceless Maracas
 |
| Yes I will help you...but I have a lot of questions. |
I climb up the rocks until I am above the thieves. It’s a trio of dark colored bokoblins. I can see a locked chest on a platform, and I bet that’s holding the maracas. The bokoblins have’t noticed me at all yet, but that could change if I daly. So let’s not. I pull out my bow and knotch it - and then change the arrow type. Perfect time to test out these bomb arrows, don’t you think?
One explosion and 3 dead bokoblins later, I am pleased to say bomb arrows are very strong. Even stronger than my Remote Bombs, I think. One chest-unlocking fanfare later, I hop down from my perch, gather up their remains, and open my chest. Maracas ho!
 |
| *cackles maniacally* |
 |
| Tetris: Korok Edition |
The second is a little more interesting. So, I’m headed to Kakariko Village, a place in Zelda games where historically the Sheikah Tribe live or originated. I’ve had several run-ins with them so far in the form of the towers and shrines, and other places, and this is no exception. As I get closer to the town, I pass under some awnings featuring various symbols. Triangles, eyes, what have you. All symbols I am familiar with, the Sheikah tribe and the Hylian Royal Family.
Kakariko Village
 |
| Again, I would like to inquire about that Getty award. |
The skies clear as Fabio makes his way to the center. The town is big, and if it’s not geographically bigger than past iterations then it’s at least more populated. I pass by a number of white haired men and women, even see a few children. There’s farms, cuckoos, shops. It’s honestly lovely.
I stop Fabio once he’s reached the bottom of the town’s hill, Impa’s house ahead of me.
Time to see what’s next.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 7
Koroks Found: 17
Maracas Recovered: 2
Inventory Spaces Expanded: Also 2
Eyes Shot Out: 1
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Monday, February 12, 2018
Horses and Beetles and Bears, Oh Crap
I have a horse! After I finish registering him, I let myself gallop around stable a little so I can get used to the controls. Seems like horses are, for the most part, smart enough to follow a path on their own. I say for the most part because there seems to be some training involved. Fabio keeps veering off the trail, forcing me to correct him. I figure out the taming process pretty easily. He does what he’s not supposed to, I correct him, I pet him, he loves me more. I’ll have him fully trained in no time.
I meet another couple of wandering merchants at the stable. The first is Agus. He is farmer who comes from Hateno Village, the other town nearby. He travels here with his donkey, selling eggs, milk, and butter - even more ingredients. The other merchant is a familiar face: Beedle! Obviously not the same Beedle, but an ancestor of those in past games. Without any sort of transportation this time, he lugs around his wares in an oversized backpack which comical is shaped like a beetle. He sells a variety of goods, arrows, some bugs, and something called an Octo Balloon. I don’t buy anything, but before he lets me go, he notices I have a beetle on me that I must have caught earlier. He BEGS me to trade it to him. I’m actually too uncomfortable to say no, so I let him. I can always get more. He gives me a Mighty Elixir in exchange. I guess that works.
I continue to follow the river on my horse until I’m at the base of the waterfall, where I must dismount Fabio to continue my trek. After hopping into the river, I wade through the shallow water to cross a few rocky outcrops. There’s a lone rock on one of them – you guessed it, Korok! Back to the waterfalls, I figure out pretty quickly that I need to climb up alongside it – the water obviously makes the actual waterfall too slippery to climb.
I make it about half way up without issue. There’s a small “shelf” where I can rest and regain my stamina before continuing. I pick up a few silent shrooms growing along the cliffside, and I pull myself up to the top. Looking out over Hickaly Woods, towards the stable, I again take a moment to take in the beauty of the game.
Then I turn around and blow up a chunk of it.
After blowing out the wall blocking the cave entrance, I enter to find a shit-ton of chests, just as the sidequest is marked off as completed. Ha, those two chumps couldn’t figure it out. I go through all the chests and collect a number of gem stones, a nice Throwing Spear and a FLAMEBLADE. The effects on it are really cool looking – the flames apparently need time to “heat up” and you can see the sword actually charge before turning bright red. Awesome. I gather everything up and organize it before exiting the cave.
Just as I am about to pull out the map, a roar to my left startles me, as does the BEAR CHARGING AT ME. Without thinking I set Fabio off into gallop, taking me further into the woods. I don’t go for very long though before I see something that terrifies me. A giant, walking, one eyed skeleton. And I’m headed right for it. In a blind panic I throw open the map and fast travel back to the shrine near the stable. Fabio does not warp with me. I am sorry to sacrifice you, horse friend. ☹
I reappear at Ha Dahamar Shrine sans horse. I head into the stable to give myself a moment to catch my wits. What the fuck was that giant ass skeleton thing in the woods? What the fuck was a bear doing in the woods? Okay, wait, the woods, nevermind that one checks out. I pop open my map, and I can see the little horse icon in the middle of the forest where I abandoned Fabio. Probably getting eaten by that skeleton. Or that bear. Or both.
As I walk back to the stable, I see that the rain has cleared, and there is a rainbow shooting across the sky.
I’m a murderer.
Manslaughterer?
Horseslaughterer.
I move to the front to speak with Tasseren, though he doesn’t seem to think anything is wrong. Has he not yet learned of my crimes? He asks if I’d like to take out a horse, and I say yes, assuming the game will give me an error message about the horse already being out. But nope, there’s Fabio, in all his glory! Thanks for risking your life, Tass.
I do my best to give my horsey friend a hug. Then I take out an apple, intending to feed it to him, but he chomps it right out of my hand! Didn’t know they could do that. Glad I didn’t lose a finger, either.
Alright, I’m getting a little sick and tired of everything in this game scaring the shit out of me. Starting to become more of a problem then it is funny. Fuck that giant-ass skeleton. I’m gonna take him the fuck down.
Or he is going to take himself down, I guess. I reenter Hickaly Woods with Fabio very, very carefully. No signs of any bears nor giant walking skeletons, but I do spot this...weird blue rabbit thing. It also looks kind of...fairy like? No idea what it was though.
Not much further in than that though is when I find our skeleton friend. Or what is left of him I guess. He’s on the ground - hell, parts of him are buried in the ground - and not moving. From a safe vantage point, I try seeing if I can do anything to get him up. Bombs, arrows, other weapons - nothing. Just stays there on the ground like an unmoving...skeleton.
Well, it is daylight now, and the only other skeletons I’ve met in this game are only active at night. Willing to bet if I came back out here at night, he’d be awake enough for me.
...let’s save that for after Kakariko.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 7
Koroks Found: 16
Horses Abandoned:1 0
Bears Faced: 1
Skeletons Walking Around: 0, for now
 |
| ...I know you... |
I meet another couple of wandering merchants at the stable. The first is Agus. He is farmer who comes from Hateno Village, the other town nearby. He travels here with his donkey, selling eggs, milk, and butter - even more ingredients. The other merchant is a familiar face: Beedle! Obviously not the same Beedle, but an ancestor of those in past games. Without any sort of transportation this time, he lugs around his wares in an oversized backpack which comical is shaped like a beetle. He sells a variety of goods, arrows, some bugs, and something called an Octo Balloon. I don’t buy anything, but before he lets me go, he notices I have a beetle on me that I must have caught earlier. He BEGS me to trade it to him. I’m actually too uncomfortable to say no, so I let him. I can always get more. He gives me a Mighty Elixir in exchange. I guess that works.
Little Twin Bridge
Now, time for some treasure hunting. I guide Fabio over the Big Twin Bridge, and then further down the path past the turn to go through the mountain. It’s peaceful, and before long I’m also crossing over the Little Twin Bridge, the name appearing and fading away. The path eventually ends, forcing me to manually steer my still unruly horse along the river bank. Up ahead, I can see the waterfall hat would be the mouth of the river. On the top, I can see some…discoloration? I’m going to guess It’s a bombable rock wall, hiding the treasure cache. |
| I already made a joke about leading a horse to water in the last one, didn't I? |
I continue to follow the river on my horse until I’m at the base of the waterfall, where I must dismount Fabio to continue my trek. After hopping into the river, I wade through the shallow water to cross a few rocky outcrops. There’s a lone rock on one of them – you guessed it, Korok! Back to the waterfalls, I figure out pretty quickly that I need to climb up alongside it – the water obviously makes the actual waterfall too slippery to climb.
I make it about half way up without issue. There’s a small “shelf” where I can rest and regain my stamina before continuing. I pick up a few silent shrooms growing along the cliffside, and I pull myself up to the top. Looking out over Hickaly Woods, towards the stable, I again take a moment to take in the beauty of the game.
Then I turn around and blow up a chunk of it.
 |
| Can video game screenshots win Getty Awards? |
After blowing out the wall blocking the cave entrance, I enter to find a shit-ton of chests, just as the sidequest is marked off as completed. Ha, those two chumps couldn’t figure it out. I go through all the chests and collect a number of gem stones, a nice Throwing Spear and a FLAMEBLADE. The effects on it are really cool looking – the flames apparently need time to “heat up” and you can see the sword actually charge before turning bright red. Awesome. I gather everything up and organize it before exiting the cave.
Hickaly Woods
It’s starting to rain and get a little dark so I should get back to the stable. I jump from the waterfall and float down with my paraglider. As I land next to Fabio, it starts to rain. Great. Let’s get out of here, horse. Easier said then done. Still not fully trained, I have a hard time getting Fabio to listen to me as we try and exit the woods and make our way back to the bridge. After a few false starts I find myself in the middle of the woods, struggling to get my bearings. |
| WHAT IS HAPPENING |
Just as I am about to pull out the map, a roar to my left startles me, as does the BEAR CHARGING AT ME. Without thinking I set Fabio off into gallop, taking me further into the woods. I don’t go for very long though before I see something that terrifies me. A giant, walking, one eyed skeleton. And I’m headed right for it. In a blind panic I throw open the map and fast travel back to the shrine near the stable. Fabio does not warp with me. I am sorry to sacrifice you, horse friend. ☹
I reappear at Ha Dahamar Shrine sans horse. I head into the stable to give myself a moment to catch my wits. What the fuck was that giant ass skeleton thing in the woods? What the fuck was a bear doing in the woods? Okay, wait, the woods, nevermind that one checks out. I pop open my map, and I can see the little horse icon in the middle of the forest where I abandoned Fabio. Probably getting eaten by that skeleton. Or that bear. Or both.
 |
| WHAT IS HAPPENING |
I’m a murderer.
Manslaughterer?
Horseslaughterer.
I move to the front to speak with Tasseren, though he doesn’t seem to think anything is wrong. Has he not yet learned of my crimes? He asks if I’d like to take out a horse, and I say yes, assuming the game will give me an error message about the horse already being out. But nope, there’s Fabio, in all his glory! Thanks for risking your life, Tass.
I do my best to give my horsey friend a hug. Then I take out an apple, intending to feed it to him, but he chomps it right out of my hand! Didn’t know they could do that. Glad I didn’t lose a finger, either.
Alright, I’m getting a little sick and tired of everything in this game scaring the shit out of me. Starting to become more of a problem then it is funny. Fuck that giant-ass skeleton. I’m gonna take him the fuck down.
Or he is going to take himself down, I guess. I reenter Hickaly Woods with Fabio very, very carefully. No signs of any bears nor giant walking skeletons, but I do spot this...weird blue rabbit thing. It also looks kind of...fairy like? No idea what it was though.
 |
| I have no idea what's happening anymore. |
Well, it is daylight now, and the only other skeletons I’ve met in this game are only active at night. Willing to bet if I came back out here at night, he’d be awake enough for me.
...let’s save that for after Kakariko.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 7
Koroks Found: 16
Horses Abandoned:
Bears Faced: 1
Skeletons Walking Around: 0, for now
Friday, February 9, 2018
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Monday, February 5, 2018
You Can Chase a Horse to Water, But It’s Going to Try and Fuck You Up
The Water Guides
~Ha Dahamar Shrine~
Does it now? Entering the Shrine, I am met with a long hallway instead of the usual open room. Must be a fairly linear trial. I head forward towards a waterfall, flowing into a small pool before a raised platform. I use Cryonis to make myself a platform from the water and climb up to the next platform, simple.The next platform, though, is separated by a gap. There’s another waterfall but it just goes straight down, there’s no water for me to make a pillar to climb in. What the hell? I try making the jump once, obviously I don’t even come close.
 |
| ...Well played, game. |
It’s only after I turn on Cryonis again and move the cursor over the waterfall that I see what I’m supposed to do. Cryonis can even be used sideways on waterfalls, making the columns stick out on their side. To be fair, logic would dictate that the ice would fall to the ground, but hey, magic! This is way more cool then it is annoying. Not sure why I never thought of something like that. This game is expanding my mind in all kinds of ways.
I make my first sideways pillar, close enough to jump to and climb up, but it is apparent that I'll need to make a second to gross the gap. Turning to look at my handiwork, I spot a chest dangling over the platform i just crossed from. I make another pillar to climb up and retrieve a Purple Rupee.
 |
| Okay this is a bit much. |
This the most puzzly shrine I’ve come across so far. I need to use Cryonis to create a stop gap and prevent the orb from falling into the pit. The first one I simple, I just position it so that the orb will run into it and then drop down. However on that level, one of the ramps is attached to an axel and so can’t support the orbs weight, spinning and dropping it. So I make a second pillar underneath, preventing it from rotating when the orb hits it. Finally, I create one last pillar to help the orb clear the last gap and roll into its slot.
 |
| Ha Dahamar |
I climb back down the stairs and enter the final room, greeting Ha Dahamar and earning another Spirit Orb. Back to the stable!
Dueling Peaks Stable
Back outside the shrine, I notice that all the spikes surrounding the Shrine are gone, allowing me to walk safely back to the stable. Thanks Ha Dahamar! Sagessa is standing on the shore, staring at the Shrine. She talks of how the Shrines are around 10,000 years old. Also she finds the glowing light romantic. You do you, girl.Now, I have some options for what to do next. Obviously I still need to get to Kakariko, but I’ve never been the kind of person to focus only on the main storyline. I have a quest I could do, hunting down the treasure cache before those two brothers do. There’s also a matter of this horse contest I was challenged to. Winning that will complete the quest AND I get a shiny new horse. Given the size of the map, a horse would be very useful. Decision made.
Wild Horses
That’s the name of the quest. Before speaking with Rensa I talk to the other residents at the stable, gathering as much much horse info as I can. Then I speak with Rensa again, this time I agree to his contest. I have two minutes to find, catch, and return with a horse. Yeehaw.Bubinga Forest
The timer starts, and I’m off! I race behind the stable and into the nearby woods. I spot a herd of horses strolling together along the Squabble River. From what the twins at the stable told me, horses that are a solid color are harder to tame, but have better stats, while horses that have spots or multiple colors are easier to tame, but slower ad with less stamina. |
| There was a lot of this. |
Turns out you have to walk very, very quietly to not scare the horses. They run away on my first approach, spooked by my sounds. My second attempt is more successful, and I manage to get close to my horse to see the action command to “Mount” appear.
Heh, mount.
So, I do. And it is...intense. The horse immediately (and understandably) behind trying to buck me off. I miss it at first, but I spam the “Tame” button repeatedly as I watch my stamina wheel deplete until I am eventually kicked off and the horse gallops off. Fuck. The timer is almost up, I’ll need to try again.
 |
| Like, a lot. |
I’m just northeast of the stable, peering from behind some ruins to stalk a herd of horses. I spot my target, a caramel covered horse with a blonde flowing mane. He will be mine. I crouch and ever so slowly sneaking over, positioning myself at the horse’s flank. Then, I mount him and before Link is even fully seated I begin mashing the trigger button. Just when I think I’m going to go flying again, a chime rings and pink lights spot around the horses head as we take off into a brisk gallop.
 |
| It's the hair. |
Apparently not. I speak Tasseren, who asks me if I would like to register my horse. They will even provide me a saddle and bridle. I’m shown his portrait and stats, and then given the opportunity to name him.
Everyone, I would like to introduce you to Fabio.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 7
Koroks Found: 15
Times Bucked Off Horse: Don’t worry about it, Janet.
Horses: 1
Mane: Luxurious
Friday, January 26, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
And Twwiiiiiiins
Outside the shrine, I decide to continue along this side of the river. As I glide down, I see another classic Zelda enemy: an Octorok! They’ve gotten...floatier. Further up the path, I see a bokoblin encampment, and before that, another cliffside path. This one looks like it extends to the end of the mountain, so I go ahead and climb on up. The gathered bokoblins are all seated right next to a number of explosive barrels. It would be silly not to take advantage. I toss down a Remote Bomb and before they have a chance to react, boom. All except one are gone, one of the darker, heartier fellas. I leap down and finish him off quickly and open the unlocked chest to gain a Boomerang! Hey, I forgot about these things. Cool.
I climb back up the cliff to finish my journey. I notice an abundance of these black sparkling rocks. Like an red blooded American, I did the most sensible thing to figure out what it was: I tried to blow it up. Amber! And a Ruby! Holy crap! Turns out it's an Ore Deposit. I quickly blow up a couple more, netting a few more precious stones. Fuck it, if it's going to be that easy to find these things I might as well sell a few and not have to worry about money for a bit. Cha-ching.
Eventually, my pockets are full and I’m on the other side of the mountain(s). The scene ahead of me is gorgeous. There’s a large open green field with a forest alongside the river. A building of sorts with a large wooden statue of…I’m not sure what it is, but some kind of creature, sits alongside the road, across a bridge. Just down the cliff, I can see a shrine surrounded by shallow water next to a waterfall.
Still very much in love with this game. I float towards the structure.
Oh yeah, apparently you have to catch your own horse.
I move to the front of the stable and speak with Rensa, one of the proprietors and possibly the twins father. I say possibly because his brother Tasseren is the one manning the counter, and who I will register my horse with once I catch one. Rensa also offers me directions to a few different places from here. There’s another village nearby, Hateno, pretty sure that name is totally new. Talking to him again, he was apparently the second-place winner in the Hyrule Horse-Taming Competition, and he offers me a challenge.
Sure buddy, I’ll kick your ass in just a minute.
I pick up my first sidequest! It’s weird even having formal sidequests like this, but I can dig it. I also appreciate that the quest markers don’t actually give away anything. First another set of brothers (that’s 3 in this one location) are hunting for the hidden treasure of Misko, the Great Bandit. Which is also the title of the quest. There’s a riddle they are trying to solve that reveals the location of a treasure stash. They will only tell it to me after I cough up 100 rupees for the info. Whatever, I can spare the cash.
I’m gonna find that treasure and then rub it in their fat fucking faces.
The riddle reads like this: The little twin steps over the little river. My cave rests above that river's source.
I look at my map again just to be sure, because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen names similar to “little twin” near here… Ha! That bridge I just crossed over there is Big Twin Bridge, and just southeast of it is another called the Little Twin Bridge. Seeing as bridges cross over rivers, I just need to follow that one to its source and I’ll have my treasure. There’s still plenty to do here first, though.
I meet a gentleman named Hino, who is watching the sky. He’s also the first person I’ve talked to that ALSO seems concerned about all this “Blood Moon” business. He tells me about the current phase of the moon, and presumably will know whether or not a Blood Moon is coming. We’ll see how useful that is. That seems to be just about everyone heeeOHMYGOD DOG! THERE’S A DOG! I can’t interact with it directly, sadly, but he follows me around and stuff! I JUST WANT TO PET IT.
Can’t pet it. But I can feed it. And so I do. Probably a little too much but who cares DOG. I’ll just have to go hunting. I “play” with the dog a while longer, not exactly clear as to how I can interact with it, but things like feeding it and just staying close to it cause some kind of…affection chime to go off. And once I get enough of those, the dog stops following me, and gets me to follow it.
Where we goin pup?
He leads me over towards Hino, then the large tree next to the stable. He’s digging at the ground? There’s a mossy green object in the ground he’s pawing at. Is that a chest? I switch to Magnesis and sure enough, that’s a fucking chest stuck in the ground. After I yank it out - rather violently - I open it for a Silver Rupee! Good dog! Can I take you with me?
Ooooo I need to remember to use Wolf Link, free puppers. Will play with any and every dog I come across now. There’s a few random animals and item pick-ups, but that seems to be it for the stable. Until I look up, that is. I see another pinwheel, on the nose of the "horse" above the stable. After some particularly careful climbing, I carefully walk down the nose of the head towards the pinwheel, and a...cloud(?) of leaves. When I get close enough, I can interact with it, and out pops another Korok!
Now, let’s go check out that shrine!
I walk close enough to see the name - Ha Dahamar Shrine – display on the screen, but I also see that it’s surrounded by these…spikes? Spikes that hurt when I touch them, and aren’t affected by my Remote Bombs, or any other runes. The fuck am I supposed to get in there? Bombs don’t work, and the other runes don’t seem interact with them either. I guess the only thing to do is go over them.
Because I took my cliffside stroll, I skipped crossing over this bridge the first time. On the other side I see a large lookout post that’s calling my name, so I float back across the river to take a look. It’s tall, but at least it has a clearly visible ladder unlike some of my other climbing attempts. And on top there is...a Rusty Broadsword. Thanks. -_-
Without anything else to do up here, I say my prayers to Hylia and jump, aiming for the shrine as I float across the river, just making it over the spikes safely.
Wait, how am I supposed to get out of here?
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 6
Koroks Found: 15
Rupees: I have a literal stack of ruby’s
Rocks: Exploded
Stable: Discovered
Twins: Everywhere
 |
| JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE! |
Eventually, my pockets are full and I’m on the other side of the mountain(s). The scene ahead of me is gorgeous. There’s a large open green field with a forest alongside the river. A building of sorts with a large wooden statue of…I’m not sure what it is, but some kind of creature, sits alongside the road, across a bridge. Just down the cliff, I can see a shrine surrounded by shallow water next to a waterfall.
Still very much in love with this game. I float towards the structure.
Dueling Peaks Stable
OOOHHHHH! It’s a horse head! That makes sense. I wonder how they got that thing up there? Do they have cranes in Hyrule? It’s the morning, and this place seems to be pretty active. I see Mezer walking up the path, I’m happy to see he didn’t suffer anymore Lizafos attacks. There are people milling about, almost like an actual town. I speak with a woman, Sagessa, who sits by the campfire and talks to me about making potions – I need to do that more – and even hands me a Hasty Elixir! She also gives me the recipe, a Hightail Lizard, and monster parts. That’s just how she says it too, so I’m guessing the monster parts don’t really have an effect on the potion, except maybe for how long it will last. Next are a pair of twin boys, Darton and Shibo, who are kinda bratty, but still give me some info on catching a horse.Oh yeah, apparently you have to catch your own horse.
 |
| Second place is just first loser. |
Sure buddy, I’ll kick your ass in just a minute.
Misko, the Great Bandit
I pick up my first sidequest! It’s weird even having formal sidequests like this, but I can dig it. I also appreciate that the quest markers don’t actually give away anything. First another set of brothers (that’s 3 in this one location) are hunting for the hidden treasure of Misko, the Great Bandit. Which is also the title of the quest. There’s a riddle they are trying to solve that reveals the location of a treasure stash. They will only tell it to me after I cough up 100 rupees for the info. Whatever, I can spare the cash. |
| Why are there so many twins? Is there something in the water? Wait. Is this just a stupid twin theme because of the mountain?! |
The riddle reads like this: The little twin steps over the little river. My cave rests above that river's source.
I look at my map again just to be sure, because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen names similar to “little twin” near here… Ha! That bridge I just crossed over there is Big Twin Bridge, and just southeast of it is another called the Little Twin Bridge. Seeing as bridges cross over rivers, I just need to follow that one to its source and I’ll have my treasure. There’s still plenty to do here first, though.
 |
| WE ARE FRIENDS |
Can’t pet it. But I can feed it. And so I do. Probably a little too much but who cares DOG. I’ll just have to go hunting. I “play” with the dog a while longer, not exactly clear as to how I can interact with it, but things like feeding it and just staying close to it cause some kind of…affection chime to go off. And once I get enough of those, the dog stops following me, and gets me to follow it.
Where we goin pup?
 |
| BEST BOY |
Ooooo I need to remember to use Wolf Link, free puppers. Will play with any and every dog I come across now. There’s a few random animals and item pick-ups, but that seems to be it for the stable. Until I look up, that is. I see another pinwheel, on the nose of the "horse" above the stable. After some particularly careful climbing, I carefully walk down the nose of the head towards the pinwheel, and a...cloud(?) of leaves. When I get close enough, I can interact with it, and out pops another Korok!
Now, let’s go check out that shrine!
I walk close enough to see the name - Ha Dahamar Shrine – display on the screen, but I also see that it’s surrounded by these…spikes? Spikes that hurt when I touch them, and aren’t affected by my Remote Bombs, or any other runes. The fuck am I supposed to get in there? Bombs don’t work, and the other runes don’t seem interact with them either. I guess the only thing to do is go over them.
Big Twin Bridge
 |
| I almost made a huge mistake. |
Without anything else to do up here, I say my prayers to Hylia and jump, aiming for the shrine as I float across the river, just making it over the spikes safely.
Wait, how am I supposed to get out of here?
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 6
Koroks Found: 15
Rupees: I have a literal stack of ruby’s
Rocks: Exploded
Stable: Discovered
Twins: Everywhere
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