You Can Chase a Horse to Water, But It’s Going to Try and Fuck You Up

The Water Guides

    ~Ha Dahamar Shrine~

Does it now? Entering the Shrine, I am met with a long hallway instead of the usual open room. Must be a fairly linear trial. I head forward towards a waterfall, flowing into a small pool before a raised platform. I use Cryonis to make myself a platform from the water and climb up to the next platform, simple.

The next platform, though, is separated by a gap. There’s another waterfall but it just goes straight down, there’s no water for me to make a pillar to climb in. What the hell? I try making the jump once, obviously I don’t even come close.

...Well played, game.

It’s only after I turn on Cryonis again and move the cursor over the waterfall that I see what I’m supposed to do. Cryonis can even be used sideways on waterfalls, making the columns stick out on their side. To be fair, logic would dictate that the ice would fall to the ground, but hey, magic! This is way more cool then it is annoying. Not sure why I never thought of something like that. This game is expanding my mind in all kinds of ways.

I make my first sideways pillar, close enough to jump to and climb up, but it is apparent that I'll need to make a second to gross the gap. Turning to look at my handiwork, I spot a chest dangling over the platform i just crossed from. I make another pillar to climb up and retrieve a Purple Rupee.

Okay this is a bit much.

The hallway opens up after that, wide. I see sets of stairs leading me slightly higher, but they dead end into the wall. To my right, however, is a MASSIVE wall of water across a huge gap. Against this wall of water are a number of ramps, with a key-orb perpetually rolling down the ramps and into the abyss. The keyhole for the orb lies at the bottom of the room, attached to what I assume is the chamber holding Ha Dahamar and the Spirit Orb.

This the most puzzly shrine I’ve come across so far. I need to use Cryonis to create a stop gap and prevent the orb from falling into the pit. The first one I simple, I just position it so that the orb will run into it and then drop down. However on that level, one of the ramps is attached to an axel and so can’t support the orbs weight, spinning and dropping it. So I make a second pillar underneath, preventing it from rotating when the orb hits it. Finally, I create one last pillar to help the orb clear the last gap and roll into its slot.

Ha Dahamar

I climb back down the stairs and enter the final room, greeting Ha Dahamar and earning another Spirit Orb. Back to the stable!

Dueling Peaks Stable

Back outside the shrine, I notice that all the spikes surrounding the Shrine are gone, allowing me to walk safely back to the stable. Thanks Ha Dahamar! Sagessa is standing on the shore, staring at the Shrine. She talks of how the Shrines are around 10,000 years old. Also she finds the glowing light romantic. You do you, girl.

Now, I have some options for what to do next. Obviously I still need to get to Kakariko, but I’ve never been the kind of person to focus only on the main storyline. I have a quest I could do, hunting down the treasure cache before those two brothers do. There’s also a matter of this horse contest I was challenged to. Winning that will complete the quest AND I get a shiny new horse. Given the size of the map, a horse would be very useful. Decision made.

Wild Horses

That’s the name of the quest. Before speaking with Rensa I talk to the other residents at the stable, gathering as much much horse info as I can. Then I speak with Rensa again, this time I agree to his contest. I have two minutes to find, catch, and return with a horse. Yeehaw.

Bubinga Forest

The timer starts, and I’m off! I race behind the stable and into the nearby woods. I spot a herd of horses strolling together along the Squabble River. From what the twins at the stable told me, horses that are a solid color are harder to tame, but have better stats, while horses that have spots or multiple colors are easier to tame, but slower ad with less stamina.

There was a lot of this.

Not one to half ass anything, I set my eyes on a pretty brown horse with a dark mane. The other horses seem to be of the multi-color variety so they’re of little use to me, but even with the time limit I’m confident that horse will be mine. As I approach, I drop into a crouch, masking my sounds from the horses so I can sneak up.

Turns out you have to walk very, very quietly to not scare the horses. They run away on my first approach, spooked by my sounds. My second attempt is more successful, and I manage to get close to my horse to see the action command to “Mount” appear.

Heh, mount.

So, I do. And it is...intense. The horse immediately (and understandably) behind trying to buck me off. I miss it at first, but I spam the “Tame” button repeatedly as I watch my stamina wheel deplete until I am eventually kicked off and the horse gallops off. Fuck. The timer is almost up, I’ll need to try again.

Like, a lot.

And try again I do. Several times. The herd of horses always changes, but there’s always a nice looking solid one I want for my stable. I try a few more spots on the plains surrounding the stable where horses appear, either spooking the horses far off or getting bucked. But finally, I manage it.

I’m just northeast of the stable, peering from behind some ruins to stalk a herd of horses. I spot my target, a caramel covered horse with a blonde flowing mane. He will be mine. I crouch and ever so slowly sneaking over, positioning myself at the horse’s flank. Then, I mount him and before Link is even fully seated I begin mashing the trigger button. Just when I think I’m going to go flying again, a chime rings and pink lights spot around the horses head as we take off into a brisk gallop.

It's the hair.

I did it! I have a horse! And with a full minute to spare. I ride back to the stable, testing the limits of my new steed’s speed and stamina. I speak with Rensa, who is in awe that I beat his time, and also a little disappointed. He gives me my reward - a Purple Rupee, and also that he only won second place because it was only him and his brother competing. Do I get to challenge him too?

Apparently not. I speak Tasseren, who asks me if I would like to register my horse. They will even provide me a saddle and bridle. I’m shown his portrait and stats, and then given the opportunity to name him.

Everyone, I would like to introduce you to Fabio.

---

Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 7
Koroks Found: 15
Times Bucked Off Horse: Don’t worry about it, Janet.
Horses: 1
Mane: Luxurious