Friday, January 26, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
And Twwiiiiiiins
Outside the shrine, I decide to continue along this side of the river. As I glide down, I see another classic Zelda enemy: an Octorok! They’ve gotten...floatier. Further up the path, I see a bokoblin encampment, and before that, another cliffside path. This one looks like it extends to the end of the mountain, so I go ahead and climb on up. The gathered bokoblins are all seated right next to a number of explosive barrels. It would be silly not to take advantage. I toss down a Remote Bomb and before they have a chance to react, boom. All except one are gone, one of the darker, heartier fellas. I leap down and finish him off quickly and open the unlocked chest to gain a Boomerang! Hey, I forgot about these things. Cool.
I climb back up the cliff to finish my journey. I notice an abundance of these black sparkling rocks. Like an red blooded American, I did the most sensible thing to figure out what it was: I tried to blow it up. Amber! And a Ruby! Holy crap! Turns out it's an Ore Deposit. I quickly blow up a couple more, netting a few more precious stones. Fuck it, if it's going to be that easy to find these things I might as well sell a few and not have to worry about money for a bit. Cha-ching.
Eventually, my pockets are full and I’m on the other side of the mountain(s). The scene ahead of me is gorgeous. There’s a large open green field with a forest alongside the river. A building of sorts with a large wooden statue of…I’m not sure what it is, but some kind of creature, sits alongside the road, across a bridge. Just down the cliff, I can see a shrine surrounded by shallow water next to a waterfall.
Still very much in love with this game. I float towards the structure.
Oh yeah, apparently you have to catch your own horse.
I move to the front of the stable and speak with Rensa, one of the proprietors and possibly the twins father. I say possibly because his brother Tasseren is the one manning the counter, and who I will register my horse with once I catch one. Rensa also offers me directions to a few different places from here. There’s another village nearby, Hateno, pretty sure that name is totally new. Talking to him again, he was apparently the second-place winner in the Hyrule Horse-Taming Competition, and he offers me a challenge.
Sure buddy, I’ll kick your ass in just a minute.
I pick up my first sidequest! It’s weird even having formal sidequests like this, but I can dig it. I also appreciate that the quest markers don’t actually give away anything. First another set of brothers (that’s 3 in this one location) are hunting for the hidden treasure of Misko, the Great Bandit. Which is also the title of the quest. There’s a riddle they are trying to solve that reveals the location of a treasure stash. They will only tell it to me after I cough up 100 rupees for the info. Whatever, I can spare the cash.
I’m gonna find that treasure and then rub it in their fat fucking faces.
The riddle reads like this: The little twin steps over the little river. My cave rests above that river's source.
I look at my map again just to be sure, because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen names similar to “little twin” near here… Ha! That bridge I just crossed over there is Big Twin Bridge, and just southeast of it is another called the Little Twin Bridge. Seeing as bridges cross over rivers, I just need to follow that one to its source and I’ll have my treasure. There’s still plenty to do here first, though.
I meet a gentleman named Hino, who is watching the sky. He’s also the first person I’ve talked to that ALSO seems concerned about all this “Blood Moon” business. He tells me about the current phase of the moon, and presumably will know whether or not a Blood Moon is coming. We’ll see how useful that is. That seems to be just about everyone heeeOHMYGOD DOG! THERE’S A DOG! I can’t interact with it directly, sadly, but he follows me around and stuff! I JUST WANT TO PET IT.
Can’t pet it. But I can feed it. And so I do. Probably a little too much but who cares DOG. I’ll just have to go hunting. I “play” with the dog a while longer, not exactly clear as to how I can interact with it, but things like feeding it and just staying close to it cause some kind of…affection chime to go off. And once I get enough of those, the dog stops following me, and gets me to follow it.
Where we goin pup?
He leads me over towards Hino, then the large tree next to the stable. He’s digging at the ground? There’s a mossy green object in the ground he’s pawing at. Is that a chest? I switch to Magnesis and sure enough, that’s a fucking chest stuck in the ground. After I yank it out - rather violently - I open it for a Silver Rupee! Good dog! Can I take you with me?
Ooooo I need to remember to use Wolf Link, free puppers. Will play with any and every dog I come across now. There’s a few random animals and item pick-ups, but that seems to be it for the stable. Until I look up, that is. I see another pinwheel, on the nose of the "horse" above the stable. After some particularly careful climbing, I carefully walk down the nose of the head towards the pinwheel, and a...cloud(?) of leaves. When I get close enough, I can interact with it, and out pops another Korok!
Now, let’s go check out that shrine!
I walk close enough to see the name - Ha Dahamar Shrine – display on the screen, but I also see that it’s surrounded by these…spikes? Spikes that hurt when I touch them, and aren’t affected by my Remote Bombs, or any other runes. The fuck am I supposed to get in there? Bombs don’t work, and the other runes don’t seem interact with them either. I guess the only thing to do is go over them.
Because I took my cliffside stroll, I skipped crossing over this bridge the first time. On the other side I see a large lookout post that’s calling my name, so I float back across the river to take a look. It’s tall, but at least it has a clearly visible ladder unlike some of my other climbing attempts. And on top there is...a Rusty Broadsword. Thanks. -_-
Without anything else to do up here, I say my prayers to Hylia and jump, aiming for the shrine as I float across the river, just making it over the spikes safely.
Wait, how am I supposed to get out of here?
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 6
Koroks Found: 15
Rupees: I have a literal stack of ruby’s
Rocks: Exploded
Stable: Discovered
Twins: Everywhere
 |
| JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE! |
Eventually, my pockets are full and I’m on the other side of the mountain(s). The scene ahead of me is gorgeous. There’s a large open green field with a forest alongside the river. A building of sorts with a large wooden statue of…I’m not sure what it is, but some kind of creature, sits alongside the road, across a bridge. Just down the cliff, I can see a shrine surrounded by shallow water next to a waterfall.
Still very much in love with this game. I float towards the structure.
Dueling Peaks Stable
OOOHHHHH! It’s a horse head! That makes sense. I wonder how they got that thing up there? Do they have cranes in Hyrule? It’s the morning, and this place seems to be pretty active. I see Mezer walking up the path, I’m happy to see he didn’t suffer anymore Lizafos attacks. There are people milling about, almost like an actual town. I speak with a woman, Sagessa, who sits by the campfire and talks to me about making potions – I need to do that more – and even hands me a Hasty Elixir! She also gives me the recipe, a Hightail Lizard, and monster parts. That’s just how she says it too, so I’m guessing the monster parts don’t really have an effect on the potion, except maybe for how long it will last. Next are a pair of twin boys, Darton and Shibo, who are kinda bratty, but still give me some info on catching a horse.Oh yeah, apparently you have to catch your own horse.
 |
| Second place is just first loser. |
Sure buddy, I’ll kick your ass in just a minute.
Misko, the Great Bandit
I pick up my first sidequest! It’s weird even having formal sidequests like this, but I can dig it. I also appreciate that the quest markers don’t actually give away anything. First another set of brothers (that’s 3 in this one location) are hunting for the hidden treasure of Misko, the Great Bandit. Which is also the title of the quest. There’s a riddle they are trying to solve that reveals the location of a treasure stash. They will only tell it to me after I cough up 100 rupees for the info. Whatever, I can spare the cash. |
| Why are there so many twins? Is there something in the water? Wait. Is this just a stupid twin theme because of the mountain?! |
The riddle reads like this: The little twin steps over the little river. My cave rests above that river's source.
I look at my map again just to be sure, because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen names similar to “little twin” near here… Ha! That bridge I just crossed over there is Big Twin Bridge, and just southeast of it is another called the Little Twin Bridge. Seeing as bridges cross over rivers, I just need to follow that one to its source and I’ll have my treasure. There’s still plenty to do here first, though.
 |
| WE ARE FRIENDS |
Can’t pet it. But I can feed it. And so I do. Probably a little too much but who cares DOG. I’ll just have to go hunting. I “play” with the dog a while longer, not exactly clear as to how I can interact with it, but things like feeding it and just staying close to it cause some kind of…affection chime to go off. And once I get enough of those, the dog stops following me, and gets me to follow it.
Where we goin pup?
 |
| BEST BOY |
Ooooo I need to remember to use Wolf Link, free puppers. Will play with any and every dog I come across now. There’s a few random animals and item pick-ups, but that seems to be it for the stable. Until I look up, that is. I see another pinwheel, on the nose of the "horse" above the stable. After some particularly careful climbing, I carefully walk down the nose of the head towards the pinwheel, and a...cloud(?) of leaves. When I get close enough, I can interact with it, and out pops another Korok!
Now, let’s go check out that shrine!
I walk close enough to see the name - Ha Dahamar Shrine – display on the screen, but I also see that it’s surrounded by these…spikes? Spikes that hurt when I touch them, and aren’t affected by my Remote Bombs, or any other runes. The fuck am I supposed to get in there? Bombs don’t work, and the other runes don’t seem interact with them either. I guess the only thing to do is go over them.
Big Twin Bridge
 |
| I almost made a huge mistake. |
Without anything else to do up here, I say my prayers to Hylia and jump, aiming for the shrine as I float across the river, just making it over the spikes safely.
Wait, how am I supposed to get out of here?
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 6
Koroks Found: 15
Rupees: I have a literal stack of ruby’s
Rocks: Exploded
Stable: Discovered
Twins: Everywhere
Friday, January 19, 2018
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Monday, January 15, 2018
Climbin' 'n Glidin'
My heart un-exploded, I catchmy breath before running back and speaking with Giro, though he didn’t indicate that anything was out of the ordinary. Does that mean I’m the only person who can see the Blood Moon and its effects? Surely people would have noticed monsters coming back to life.
You know, between hearing voices in my head, talking to ghosts, and now this horrifying Blood Moon vision, I wouldn’t mind a little confirmation that Link isn’t, you know, mentally ill. I’m not claiming to be an expert, but those are definitely signs of schizophrenia. Just saying.
I continue my way down the path alongside the Squabble River. The riverbank is just to my left, and as I near Dueling Peaks I take note of the Sheikah Tower across from me once again. It gives of a red glow, unlike the blue one on the plateau. It’s actually the same hue that an unfinished shrine has, before turning into that same electric blue after completion.
I need to get to that tower.
As I approach the Dueling Peak’s base, what do I see but a Korok flower! After touching it, it moves across the river, jumping from shallow rock to shallow rock. I chase after it, eventually swimming to the other side of the river to claim my seed. Thanks Korok.
I turn my gaze once again towards the tower, rising from the center of a lake. A large chunk of earth at the base of the tower leads me to believe that it must have been buried underneath the ground just as on the plateau. It also occurs to me that I am going to have to actually climb this tower, instead of just riding it to the top after it explodes. Crap.
I get a nice cinematic flyby as the tower activates, turning from orange to blue, and unlocking the map for the area. Oh look, the names for all those places I’ve been but couldn’t have possibly known the names of! Even though the game doesn’t count every individual labeled item on the map as its own area, I still think it’s pretty awesome and will be using all of the names I can to refer to geographical locations. I also unlock something called the Sheikah Sensor, which acts like a radar, alerting me of nearby shrines.
It starts going off almost immediately. That’s gonna get annoying.
While on the tower, I use my scope to note the locations of some shrines, though none of them are really on the way to Kakariko from what I can see. Still smart to have marked down probably. Once I’m satisfied, I leap from the tower, using my paraglider to slow my fall back down to the other side of the river bank. At the base of the mountain is another tree fort. Joy, more bokoblins to fight. However as I approach it, I see that it’s actually…empty. Completely. There’s not even an easy way up – there’s no drawbridge to lower. I land on top, but seeing nothing, hope down to take shelter.
There’s a Torch and an Woodcutter's Axe underneath, along with an unlit cooking pot, but nothing else. This feels like a trap. As I debate waiting for the rain to stop or not, what do I see running towards me but yet ANOTHER Hylian! Hooray! He joins me under the fort, also taking cover from the storm. I love the AI. He even talk about the weather when I talk to him.
Mezer, as he is named, is a traveling merchant, selling meat and salt. And since it’s raining, he is having a rainy day special! I don’t have a point of reference for any of the non-sale prices for things, so I take a gander over his inventory but refrain from making any purchases. I’ve still got a decent amount of raw meat leftover from hunting on the plateau. Still, I appreciate the company while we wait for the rain to let up. Not that he has much to say. Eventually the thunder stops and it’s safe to move on. I say my goodbyes and I walk through the Dueling Peaks.
Then I see Mezer coming up the path. And so do they, leaping from the water and onto the river bank to attack. Not on my watch! I leapt into action, drawing my sword to defend my rain-buddy.
Lizafos are just as annoying as I remember, and very bouncy. They resemble overgrown chameleons, complete with bug eyes and long tongues. I try to keep both of them in my view as I target one, slashing at him with my sword. After he leaps out of reach, I switch to the other, and so on until they are both dead. I speak with Mezer’s still-cowering form and he thanks me for rescuing him, and even gives me some food as a reward. Then he continues on his way.
I examine some metallic boulders off to the side, though they don’t seem to do anything even when moved with Magnesis. Looking across the river, I see a Shrine on a cliff not too far up. Must be what was setting of the Sensor. I jump into the river and swim across, and then climb up to the Shrine to activate it, and enter.
This switch moves two platforms - the ball is on the top one, and I have to depress the switch as it rolls onto the bottom so that it is tilted towards the ball slot and not a bottomless pit. Takes a few tries before I get it, but I do. The next moving platform is activated, and I’m brought to the final puzzle platform.
This is only a single platform, but with a decent sized gap between it and the ball slot. I also spot a chest above the ramp holding the ball, too high to climb to. Hmm. In order to move the ball across, I have to press the switch and allow it to build up momentum, before letting go and moving the platform to a high enough position so the ball can jump the gap. I also see that when turned, the ramp reaches high enough to get the chest. But, unless I’m standing on the switch, the ramp remains too low.
“Timing is Critical” is the name of the challenge right? I bet Stasis can help by freezing the platform in place. I learn I am wrong when the platform neglects to react to my rune. The switch however can be frozen, so after I get the moving platform activated, I stand on the switch. Once it’s close enough, I freeze the switch below me and hop onto the platform, allowing me to climb up the ramp and to the chest before Stasis wears off and the switch goes back to normal.
CLIMBERS BANDANA!
I know that’s probably way too excited for something I never even knew existed, but in the chest was a piece of armor for my head that increases my climb speed. Super useful! I also hadn’t had any head armor at all so the defense boost doesn’t hurt either. I slap it on and climb down to Ree Dahee, earning myself another Spirit Orb.
Gonna climb all sorts of shit.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 6
Koroks Found: 14
Tower: Climbed
Head: Bandanna’d
You know, between hearing voices in my head, talking to ghosts, and now this horrifying Blood Moon vision, I wouldn’t mind a little confirmation that Link isn’t, you know, mentally ill. I’m not claiming to be an expert, but those are definitely signs of schizophrenia. Just saying.
 |
| ...Yay. Another one. |
I need to get to that tower.
As I approach the Dueling Peak’s base, what do I see but a Korok flower! After touching it, it moves across the river, jumping from shallow rock to shallow rock. I chase after it, eventually swimming to the other side of the river to claim my seed. Thanks Korok.
I turn my gaze once again towards the tower, rising from the center of a lake. A large chunk of earth at the base of the tower leads me to believe that it must have been buried underneath the ground just as on the plateau. It also occurs to me that I am going to have to actually climb this tower, instead of just riding it to the top after it explodes. Crap.
 |
| ...Goddamnit... |
Dueling Peaks Tower
I walk around the lake’s edge towards the tower and up the “ramp” made by the earth. As I look up, I try to get an idea for the most optimal way to make the climb. Doesn’t look too different from the first tower, except I’ll be going up instead of down. I climb onto the side of the tower, and make my way up to the first platform. Then I allow my stamina to restore, and do it again, and again, until I’m finally at the top. As I make my way to the orange platform, rain begins to fall, and I insert my slate.I get a nice cinematic flyby as the tower activates, turning from orange to blue, and unlocking the map for the area. Oh look, the names for all those places I’ve been but couldn’t have possibly known the names of! Even though the game doesn’t count every individual labeled item on the map as its own area, I still think it’s pretty awesome and will be using all of the names I can to refer to geographical locations. I also unlock something called the Sheikah Sensor, which acts like a radar, alerting me of nearby shrines.
It starts going off almost immediately. That’s gonna get annoying.
 |
| Okay, it was worth the climb. |
There’s a Torch and an Woodcutter's Axe underneath, along with an unlit cooking pot, but nothing else. This feels like a trap. As I debate waiting for the rain to stop or not, what do I see running towards me but yet ANOTHER Hylian! Hooray! He joins me under the fort, also taking cover from the storm. I love the AI. He even talk about the weather when I talk to him.
Mezer, as he is named, is a traveling merchant, selling meat and salt. And since it’s raining, he is having a rainy day special! I don’t have a point of reference for any of the non-sale prices for things, so I take a gander over his inventory but refrain from making any purchases. I’ve still got a decent amount of raw meat leftover from hunting on the plateau. Still, I appreciate the company while we wait for the rain to let up. Not that he has much to say. Eventually the thunder stops and it’s safe to move on. I say my goodbyes and I walk through the Dueling Peaks.
 |
| Makin' friends all over the place. |
Dueling Peaks
The Shrine Sensor is indicating that I’m headed towards one, so I make sure to check my surroundings as I go. Walking this close to the river, I see a classic Zelda enemy: Lizafos! At first, I have no idea what they are – I only see the splash of the water as two of them swim downstream, towards me. Curious, I step away from the water and pull out my scope as they pass, just making out the forms of the swimming reptiles but still not clear as to what they are.Then I see Mezer coming up the path. And so do they, leaping from the water and onto the river bank to attack. Not on my watch! I leapt into action, drawing my sword to defend my rain-buddy.
 |
| He protek! |
I examine some metallic boulders off to the side, though they don’t seem to do anything even when moved with Magnesis. Looking across the river, I see a Shrine on a cliff not too far up. Must be what was setting of the Sensor. I jump into the river and swim across, and then climb up to the Shrine to activate it, and enter.
Timing is Critical
~Ree Dahee Shrine~
I enter the shrine to see…a lot of platforms, all glowing orange. In front of me is a switch which, when pressed causes one of the platforms ahead of me to tilt to the right. On that platform is a ball which rolls onto another platform and into a slot, activating a moving platform. I hop on the platform and move to the next set. |
| This seems like overkill for what is basically Marble Madness. |
This is only a single platform, but with a decent sized gap between it and the ball slot. I also spot a chest above the ramp holding the ball, too high to climb to. Hmm. In order to move the ball across, I have to press the switch and allow it to build up momentum, before letting go and moving the platform to a high enough position so the ball can jump the gap. I also see that when turned, the ramp reaches high enough to get the chest. But, unless I’m standing on the switch, the ramp remains too low.
 |
| Rhee Dahee |
CLIMBERS BANDANA!
I know that’s probably way too excited for something I never even knew existed, but in the chest was a piece of armor for my head that increases my climb speed. Super useful! I also hadn’t had any head armor at all so the defense boost doesn’t hurt either. I slap it on and climb down to Ree Dahee, earning myself another Spirit Orb.
Gonna climb all sorts of shit.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 6
Koroks Found: 14
Tower: Climbed
Head: Bandanna’d
Friday, January 5, 2018
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Monday, January 1, 2018
Over the River and Through the Woods
I exit Bosh Kala Shrine and make my way back to the path alongside the ruins. Only one direction to go – I start to cross the bridge.
He talks about the towers springing from the ground, and the shrines “waking up.” I couldn't exactly check anything before I activate the first tower so I’ll take his word for it. Talking to him further, he also lets me know how terrified he is of the guardians – in particular a disabled one on an island in the middle of the river. There are apparently some that are still fully functional closer towards the castle. That’ll be fun.
I can see a bokoblin camp along a riverbank nearby, but not close enough to want to go over to fuck their shit up. I’m sure I’ll get over there eventually. Not really wanting to check that guardian to see if it’s active or not, I say goodbye to Brigo and continue my trek to Kakariko. The path follows along a river, with some hills to my right and a small forest on the left. It’s not long before my attention is drawn off the path again – this time towards giant hollow logs, similar to the ones I saw on the plateau. I bet there’s a Korok around here somewhere.
I explore the forest around me first. There are a few things of note. The first being a big hole in the ground, and a boulder nearby. I solve the Korok puzzle without breaking a sweat. Second, there is a large rock formation in the middle of the forest, not too far from the camp but far enough that they won’t notice me exploring as long as I stick to one side. Doesn’t seem to be much at first - I find a new ingredient on top, a Mighty Thistle that will raise my attack power. Then I see a weird little statue that seems to be looking at a bombable wall on the side – this thing is hollow! I blow myself an entrance and see what we have inside. A rock. With a Korok! Cool, that’s 2.
There’s nothing else of interest in this cave, so I exit and move towards the bokoblins. There’s a bunch of explosive barrels...but not really any cover, so I just take a direct approach do my best to sneak up on the group as they sit behind a fire, and once I’m close enough pull out the biggest sword I have. I like seeing the red ones go flying before disintegrating into nothingness. I collect a pretty strong Soldier’s Shield from a chest afterwards.
Wow. So some of those precious stones I’ve been gathering are worth a pretty penny. Granted, I’ve mostly got ambers and those seem to be the cheapest, but if they continue to be this common, it seems like money won’t really be an issue. On top of that, I’ve got a metric fuck-ton of monster parts that I can unload if I needed to. All the more reason to make sure I pick up everything I see!
I say goodbye to Giro and decide to give the hills behind his camp a once over. More to the east past a small lake there is a valley leading to a location undoubtedly full of monsters, but I’m sticking to just the hills for now. Don’t want to get too distracted from the mission yet. I see…something on the peak of one of the hills. On closer inspection, it’s a pinwheel, orange and glowing faintly. When I approach, I hear a Korok sound effect (like a rain stick? I dunno) and three balloons
appear in the air with an audible *pop*!
They have what I assume to be targets painted on the side. Not hard to figure out what I need to do – I need the bow practice anyway. After a few minutes and several misses, I take out all three, revealing my next Korok buddy floating in the air. Thanks for the seed.
Time to get back on the road. I can see Dueling Peaks ahead of me. Much bigger up close. I also see the red-orange glow of another Sheikah Tower across the river at the mountain’s base. Before I have a chance to contemplate any further, the game’s music suddenly changes into something…eerie. Distorted sounds grow steadily louder as strange black and red objects flicker like flames on the screen around me. In the real world, I am completely freaking out. What did I do!? Did I wake up another weird boss monster? Where is it!? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!
Then, I see it behind me.
The moon is full and has turned a bright crimson red, steadily rising into the sky. The music grows louder as the entire world takes on a red hue, the keys of a piano being played faster and with more force until with a loud BOOM everything goes black. Is this game over?
No, it’s Zelda. And this is something called the Blood Moon. As she explains what is happening, I am treated to visuals of monsters across Hyrule respawning – that’s why the plateau stayed so empty, and that answers my early questions about monsters respawning. Very creepy, and a very well done in game explanation.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to try and convince my heart not to explode.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 5
Koroks Found: 13
Rupees: 20
Blood Moon: Risen
Jon’s Anxiety: Thriving
Proxim Bridge
It’s a big bridge, and it’s well lit with torches. Normally that would mean someone was maintaining them but…video game. Actually…hold on. There’s a person on this bridge! Like an actual living breathing not-a-ghost (as far as I know) person. Well, video game wise. His name is Brigo, so I’m guessing this is kind of his “thing.” |
| ...He's dead, Jim. |
I can see a bokoblin camp along a riverbank nearby, but not close enough to want to go over to fuck their shit up. I’m sure I’ll get over there eventually. Not really wanting to check that guardian to see if it’s active or not, I say goodbye to Brigo and continue my trek to Kakariko. The path follows along a river, with some hills to my right and a small forest on the left. It’s not long before my attention is drawn off the path again – this time towards giant hollow logs, similar to the ones I saw on the plateau. I bet there’s a Korok around here somewhere.
 |
| What happened to the rest of the giant forest? |
Hills of Baumer
I make my way up the hill and through one of the logs, and am greeted by the familiar site of a yellow flower. Touching the flower moves it further up the hills, and I give chase. Surprise! About halfway up I run into another boulder booby trap. Eventually I make it to the top and find my Korok buddy. Thanks for almost killing me. I skip walking back down and just jump and glide. I continue on the path, the trees growing thick enough that I think I can call this a forest, officially. Off in the distance through the trees, I can see a bokoblin camp on the river bank. This one close enough to have their shit fucked up.I explore the forest around me first. There are a few things of note. The first being a big hole in the ground, and a boulder nearby. I solve the Korok puzzle without breaking a sweat. Second, there is a large rock formation in the middle of the forest, not too far from the camp but far enough that they won’t notice me exploring as long as I stick to one side. Doesn’t seem to be much at first - I find a new ingredient on top, a Mighty Thistle that will raise my attack power. Then I see a weird little statue that seems to be looking at a bombable wall on the side – this thing is hollow! I blow myself an entrance and see what we have inside. A rock. With a Korok! Cool, that’s 2.
 |
| Don't act like you haven't thought about it. |
There’s nothing else of interest in this cave, so I exit and move towards the bokoblins. There’s a bunch of explosive barrels...but not really any cover, so I just take a direct approach do my best to sneak up on the group as they sit behind a fire, and once I’m close enough pull out the biggest sword I have. I like seeing the red ones go flying before disintegrating into nothingness. I collect a pretty strong Soldier’s Shield from a chest afterwards.
Squabble River
It’s not much further up the path that I find yet another roadside attraction. Another Hylian! I guess Hyrule isn’t completely abandoned then. He’s another merchant, Giro. He’s got a nice little campfire setup, so I take a sec to rest and see what he’s selling. A few ingredients I haven’t seen yet, but nothing I think I want to buy. Not that I have much money to begin with. I talk to him again to open the sell menu, I’m sure I have some stuff to unload… |
| Protip: Always go towards smokestacks. |
I say goodbye to Giro and decide to give the hills behind his camp a once over. More to the east past a small lake there is a valley leading to a location undoubtedly full of monsters, but I’m sticking to just the hills for now. Don’t want to get too distracted from the mission yet. I see…something on the peak of one of the hills. On closer inspection, it’s a pinwheel, orange and glowing faintly. When I approach, I hear a Korok sound effect (like a rain stick? I dunno) and three balloons
appear in the air with an audible *pop*!
 |
| This is getting ridiculous. |
Time to get back on the road. I can see Dueling Peaks ahead of me. Much bigger up close. I also see the red-orange glow of another Sheikah Tower across the river at the mountain’s base. Before I have a chance to contemplate any further, the game’s music suddenly changes into something…eerie. Distorted sounds grow steadily louder as strange black and red objects flicker like flames on the screen around me. In the real world, I am completely freaking out. What did I do!? Did I wake up another weird boss monster? Where is it!? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!
Then, I see it behind me.
 |
| *inaudible shrieking* |
No, it’s Zelda. And this is something called the Blood Moon. As she explains what is happening, I am treated to visuals of monsters across Hyrule respawning – that’s why the plateau stayed so empty, and that answers my early questions about monsters respawning. Very creepy, and a very well done in game explanation.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to try and convince my heart not to explode.
Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 5
Koroks Found: 13
Rupees: 20
Blood Moon: Risen
Jon’s Anxiety: Thriving
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