Over the River and Through the Woods

I exit Bosh Kala Shrine and make my way back to the path alongside the ruins. Only one direction to go – I start to cross the bridge.

Proxim Bridge

It’s a big bridge, and it’s well lit with torches. Normally that would mean someone was maintaining them but…video game. Actually…hold on. There’s a person on this bridge! Like an actual living breathing not-a-ghost (as far as I know) person. Well, video game wise. His name is Brigo, so I’m guessing this is kind of his “thing.”

...He's dead, Jim.

He talks about the towers springing from the ground, and the shrines “waking up.” I couldn't exactly check anything before I activate the first tower so I’ll take his word for it. Talking to him further, he also lets me know how terrified he is of the guardians – in particular a disabled one on an island in the middle of the river. There are apparently some that are still fully functional closer towards the castle. That’ll be fun.

I can see a bokoblin camp along a riverbank nearby, but not close enough to want to go over to fuck their shit up. I’m sure I’ll get over there eventually. Not really wanting to check that guardian to see if it’s active or not, I say goodbye to Brigo and continue my trek to Kakariko. The path follows along a river, with some hills to my right and a small forest on the left. It’s not long before my attention is drawn off the path again – this time towards giant hollow logs, similar to the ones I saw on the plateau. I bet there’s a Korok around here somewhere.

What happened to the rest of the giant forest?

Hills of Baumer

I make my way up the hill and through one of the logs, and am greeted by the familiar site of a yellow flower. Touching the flower moves it further up the hills, and I give chase. Surprise! About halfway up I run into another boulder booby trap. Eventually I make it to the top and find my Korok buddy. Thanks for almost killing me. I skip walking back down and just jump and glide. I continue on the path, the trees growing thick enough that I think I can call this a forest, officially. Off in the distance through the trees, I can see a bokoblin camp on the river bank. This one close enough to have their shit fucked up.

I explore the forest around me first. There are a few things of note. The first being a big hole in the ground, and a boulder nearby. I solve the Korok puzzle without breaking a sweat. Second, there is a large rock formation in the middle of the forest, not too far from the camp but far enough that they won’t notice me exploring as long as I stick to one side. Doesn’t seem to be much at first - I find a new ingredient on top, a Mighty Thistle that will raise my attack power. Then I see a weird little statue that seems to be looking at a bombable wall on the side – this thing is hollow! I blow myself an entrance and see what we have inside. A rock. With a Korok! Cool, that’s 2.

Don't act like you haven't thought about it.

There’s nothing else of interest in this cave, so I exit and move towards the bokoblins. There’s a bunch of explosive barrels...but not really any cover, so I just take a direct approach do my best to sneak up on the group as they sit behind a fire, and once I’m close enough pull out the biggest sword I have. I like seeing the red ones go flying before disintegrating into nothingness. I collect a pretty strong Soldier’s Shield from a chest afterwards.

Squabble River

It’s not much further up the path that I find yet another roadside attraction. Another Hylian! I guess Hyrule isn’t completely abandoned then. He’s another merchant, Giro. He’s got a nice little campfire setup, so I take a sec to rest and see what he’s selling. A few ingredients I haven’t seen yet, but nothing I think I want to buy. Not that I have much money to begin with. I talk to him again to open the sell menu, I’m sure I have some stuff to unload…

Protip: Always go towards smokestacks.

Wow. So some of those precious stones I’ve been gathering are worth a pretty penny. Granted, I’ve mostly got ambers and those seem to be the cheapest, but if they continue to be this common, it seems like money won’t really be an issue. On top of that, I’ve got a metric fuck-ton of monster parts that I can unload if I needed to. All the more reason to make sure I pick up everything I see!

I say goodbye to Giro and decide to give the hills behind his camp a once over. More to the east past a small lake there is a valley leading to a location undoubtedly full of monsters, but I’m sticking to just the hills for now. Don’t want to get too distracted from the mission yet. I see…something on the peak of one of the hills. On closer inspection, it’s a pinwheel, orange and glowing faintly. When I approach, I hear a Korok sound effect (like a rain stick? I dunno) and three balloons
appear in the air with an audible *pop*!

This is getting ridiculous.

They have what I assume to be targets painted on the side. Not hard to figure out what I need to do – I need the bow practice anyway. After a few minutes and several misses, I take out all three, revealing my next Korok buddy floating in the air. Thanks for the seed.

Time to get back on the road. I can see Dueling Peaks ahead of me. Much bigger up close. I also see the red-orange glow of another Sheikah Tower across the river at the mountain’s base. Before I have a chance to contemplate any further, the game’s music suddenly changes into something…eerie. Distorted sounds grow steadily louder as strange black and red objects flicker like flames on the screen around me. In the real world, I am completely freaking out. What did I do!? Did I wake up another weird boss monster? Where is it!? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!

Then, I see it behind me.

*inaudible shrieking*

The moon is full and has turned a bright crimson red, steadily rising into the sky. The music grows louder as the entire world takes on a red hue, the keys of a piano being played faster and with more force until with a loud BOOM everything goes black. Is this game over?

No, it’s Zelda. And this is something called the Blood Moon. As she explains what is happening, I am treated to visuals of monsters across Hyrule respawning – that’s why the plateau stayed so empty, and that answers my early questions about monsters respawning. Very creepy, and a very well done in game explanation.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to try and convince my heart not to explode.

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Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 5
Koroks Found: 13
Rupees: 20
Blood Moon: Risen
Jon’s Anxiety: Thriving