Spelunking for Diamonds & Truffle Hunting Sisters - Screenshot Roundup 57

Mo' Villages, Mo' Problems

Marblod Plain

After I finish my Korok diving, I am back on the path to Hateno. Before I follow it down into the valley though, there’s a small forest I want to check out first near the tunnel to Oakle’s Navel. I find a few keese I take out easily enough, and manage to sneak up on a moblin as he’s eating, knocking him out with a single well placed spear strike. Then in the back of the forest, I find a cave. I see a few sleeping Ice Keese, some Luminous Stone Deposits, and a treasure chest floating in a pool in the center. I take the ice keese out with my arrows before they have a chance to wake up, and switch to my cryonis rune for the chest. It’s a Purple Rupee! I was going to say that at least it’s not an Amber, but I think those are actually worth more.

That leaves the luminous stone deposits. I can get to one of them just fine, but another is on the side of the cave wall over the pool. Even if it were lower, I can’t use my sledgehammer in the water. I think about using bomb arrows, but I remember how the stones would go flying when I used remote bombs before I figured out the sledgehammer. Maybe if I make a Cryonis pillar close enough to the wall...Perfect. Link is smart enough to know I want him to strike the ore deposit and all that’s left is for me to collect.

I'm riiiiiiich bitch

There’s one more ore deposit in here, but it’s bigger than the others, and seems to have gold fleck and a golden glow about it. It is nearly on the cave’s ceiling, but with a little positioning I am able to break that one open too. I find a Topaz inside, and a Diamond! I haven’t seen one of these before. Hopefully I’ll see a lot more in the near future. I exit the small cave after picking up the Ice Keese Wings left over from before.

I walk around the rest of the small forest gathering ingredients before I get on my way again. Hylian Shrooms, Ironshrooms, even a couple of Hearty Radishes line the forest floor. Must have been some of what that moblin was snacking on. I also find a bunch of Sunset Fireflies, useful for making stealth potions. The sheikah gear really makes collecting bugs easier, need to remember that. Then I find something new inside of a tree. Like, inside of a large hole in the tree. It looks like an acorn, so I’m betting it’s Korok related. Since this is a video game, I do what anyone would do: I destroy it. It only takes a single arrow for it to burst and the Korok to pop out and give me my seed.

Right next to the woods I can see a fork in the road. To my right, the path goes up into an unnamed forest and then across Firly Plateau. The sign doesn’t mention that though, it only indicates that this is the path to Loshlo Harbor. Another two places for me to visit...after I get to Hateno. I once again hop on Fabio and continue my journey down into the valley.

Just...follow me for now Fabio. *whistle*

Midla Woods

...goddamnit there’s more bokoblins down here. Only two though, and they are presently distracted by a boar they are hunting. I take them and the boar out with a few strikes with my spear. Yay, more Raw Meat!

I take a moment to run around the small forest and gather up some more ingredients. Apart from the usual fare, I find another acorn in a tree, so I shoot it down and collect another Korok Seed. Just as I’m about to hop back on Fabio, I see what looks like another bokoblin further in the woods. As I approach, I see him standing over someone’s body. Uhoh. I run up and take him out, before seeing a second hylian under attack as well, and I quickly snuff him out as well.

I help the two girls up once the area is secure. They are a pair of sisters, Meghyn and Nat, and they are here in the forest hunting down Hearty Truffles. I haven’t come across any of those yet, but I think I remember seeing them in a traveling merchant’s shop. Nat seems to be much more enthusiastic about their foraging then Meghyn. It would seem that they are doing it for the money rather than because they want to eat the truffles themselves. Although Meghyn seems like she doesn’t want to be doing it at all.

I say goodbye to the sisters and whistle for Fabio as I head back to the path. Hateno Village should be just up and around this mountain pass. I can see the entrance gate as I approach - it’s bigger and more rustic then Kakariko. I can also see a...farmer? Or a guard dressed like a farmer. Or a farmer acting as a guard. It’s probably the last one. As soon as he notices me, he drops into a defensive stance, holding out his pitchfork to ward me from getting too close.

Is he gonna stab me with that thing?

Hateno Village

His name is Thadd, and he seems very wary of strangers, though he puts down the pitchfork when he sees that I am hylian. I suppose when there’s an apocalypse and you’re one of the only towns still standing it’s better to be safe than sorry. After he apologizes, he points me towards the general store and inn in town and let’s me on my way.

Fabio trots his way through the gate as I examine what I can of the town from his back. It’s big, bigger then Kakariko I think. I can’t see everything from the entrance, but the map makes it look fairly spread out - I can see buildings dotting the map from here to the mountain range to the East. That probably means a lot more sidequests.

The second villager I meet is a young boy named Teebo. He says he found something and wants to show it to me. Okay, sure. I leave Fabio near the gate and follow Teebo as he leads me around a bend, up a hill, and then down a small crevice. There, on a small cliff overlooking a lake sits a dark horned statue. A statue that seemingly has a quest for me

 The Statue's Bargain

In my experience, in most Zelda games talking statues do mostly trivial things, like tell you the time, spread gossip, or, even in this game, provide you some benefit. Most statues also aren’t black or have horns. But what am I gonna do, NOT talk to it? Yep, it’s a demon, and now it is talking to me.

There is no name given other than Horned Statue. Once upon a time it received all sorts of visitors, and they dealt life-for-money bargains. Hylia didn’t like that, and so she trapped it here in this statue, where it sits largely ignored by the villagers. It is also covered in bird shit, apparently. Rather then try and turn over a new leaf, it’s just been sitting here, waiting for someone who could hear it to come along.

Lucky me.

Hey asshole, if I wanted my heart stolen I'd just stare at
Chris Evan's picture all night.

It tries to strike a bargain with me, but I decline. So instead, it just fucking steals one of my heart containers. The fuck! Also, HOW?! If you can just take hearts without asking why haven’t you been doing that left and right? Dick. I talk to it again, because I want my goddamned heart container back. The statue insists it is only trying to help me. It will buy either a Heart Container or Stamina Vessel from me for 100 rupees, and then for 120 rupees. It then gives me the option of having my heart returned to me or have it changed to stamina, no upcharge included this first time.

I request the heart back - I’m still too squishy. I suppose I can see the benefit to what Horny (that’s what I’m gonna call them) is offering, but I don’t know that I will take advantage all that much. Also, they’re still a dick for doing that without asking in the first place. I hope more birds shit all over you, dude. Once I have my heart back, the quest ends, and Teebo and I both leave. I’m not sure if Teebo saw or heard anything, or if Link just looked like a spaz who talks to statues.

Is he always like this, or am I just special?

I head back towards the town entrance, Fabio right where I left him. The next villager I meet is a rather cute chubby gentleman named Seldon. I find him just wandering about near the entrance, but upon talking to him, he tells me he has volunteered as the town tour guide for newcomers. As long as he doesn’t introduce me to any life stealing demons, cool.

And then he’s off! Like, jogging his way to the first destination. He’s a spritely dude. The first stop is the town’s general store, East Wind. Outside is Ivee, a young girl who also acts as the shops greeter. I’ll have to come back to see what they’re selling, because as soon as I talk to Seldon again he’s rushing off to stop #2. Next door is the Kochi Dye Shop, where I can apparently change the color of my clothing. The greeter, Senna, shouts as much to her husband inside when she think they’ve got a customer. I’ll be back to check it out. Maybe.

Stop #3 is over a river, deeper into town. I pass by several residents as I work to keep up with Seldon, but they aren’t going anywhere. Seldon stops in front of the town inn - The Great Ton Pu Inn. Leop is the greeter here, an elderly man who encourages me to rest here. No time for that though because Seldon has one last stop for me, back across the river near the entrance of the town.

“Thank you for using ‘Seldon’s Village Tours,’ I’m
going to go pass out now.”

It’s the town armor shop, Ventest Clothing, and it’s owned by Seldon himself, although his daughter is the one who actually runs the place. Poor Seldon is totally winded from the tour, but tells me to come by and hang out sometime. Also tells me to stock up before heading to the Kochi Dye Shop. Then he promptly leaves me to my own devices, needing a rest after all that running. With that, the tour is over and I am left to explore the rest of the town on my own.

Picking up some new armor might be a good place to start.

---

Heart Containers: 5 (Fuckin’ asshole statue)
Shrines Completed: 9
Koroks Found: 33
Hearty Truffles: Hunted
Statue: Horny (and a dick)
Seldon: Should probably look into doing more cardio

Bokoblin Fort Raid Redux & Diving Into Oakle's Navel - Screenshot Roundup 56

Floating on Updrafts & A Badly Timed Blood Moon - Screenshot Roundup 55

The Towering Inferno

Well, I’m at the tower. Now to figure out how to get to the top…

Hateno Tower

There does seem to be a climbing path through all the thorns, but it looks incredibly annoying if not dangerous. Bluh. How were the sheikah capable of making a tablet complete with its own OS, but couldn't attach a fucking elevator to their towers. They already use them to go down into the shrines!

...I didn't do it.

I circle and climb around the base, looking up for a good starting point. My search isn't terribly fruitful, but I do end up finding a few ore deposits along the base. Might as well fill my pockets while I’m here, right?

...Okay, so, you know how if you strike Flint with metal you can create sparks that you can start a fire with? Both in real life and in the game?

Well, apparently it works on ore deposits too. Especially when those ore deposits are placed on top of patches of dried leaves and grass. Which then spread onto the large swaths of dried thorn bushes in the surrounding area. As soon as I see the fire I run back around to the front of the tower, watching as the flames spread quickly.

Then I notice the updraft…

...This is either going to be incredibly stupid or incredibly awesome...

I really hope the tower isn't flammable.

I take a deep breath and leap into the flames, pulling out my paraglider instantly and shooting up into the air on the updraft. I watch as the plants burn below me, the older flames going out as new ones spread further. I follow the updrafts towards the tower, and I am able to hover close to the tower as the fire spreads up it’s walls, clearing it of the dangerous debris. I seem to have hit a vertical wall as it were, so I go ahead and attach myself to the tower, about ⅔ of the way up. It’s not an elevator but it’ll do.

I climb to the nearest platform as I wait for the flames to finish burning and then continue my climb up. At the top, I activate the tower and update my map, filling in the entire East Necluda region. The whole thing is a valley, Fort Hateno seems to be the only clear way in a out, other then possibly making it up somehow through the Necluda Sea. Geography!

I look out from the tower and survey the landscape. I mark a few of the shrines I see with pins, at least the ones that seem to be accessible from this area. I can also see Hateno village in the distance, on the opposite end of East Necluda from me and the tower. The path I’m taking actually loops all the way back around to where I first turned onto the land bridge. I’ll be able to hit the places I missed on the way back.

I have the worst fucking luck.

I look down at Fabio, and notice that the tower is actually perched right above a pair of bokoblin tree forts. Tree forts which it seems I am going to have to pass nearby on my way to town anyway. Might as well get the drop on them while I have the advantage. I position myself and jump, pulling out my paraglider and beginning my decent. I’ll be able to land on the highest part of the fort, able to take down many of them totally unseen and work my way down to the ground.

Wait. What’s happening? Something’s happening.

FUCK. It’s another Blood Moon, right when I was about to land. FINE. I teleport back up to the tower and wait for the moon to pass. Last thing I want is for all the 'blins I just killed to immediately come back. Let’s try this again.

Marblod Plain

The second attempt is much more successful. Also, since it’s night-time, most of the monsters are asleep, making my job even easier. I land very carefully behind a still awake bokoblin guard, and quickly dispatch him with a hammer to the back of the head. I can see more of the ‘blins now, and notice some of the stronger variety among them, along with a sleeping moblin mixed in. Party.

Gosh those fireworks are pretty.

I switch to my stealth outfit, wanting to work my way down the tree and taking out as many of the bokoblins as they sleep as I can. The closest threat is a large sleeping moblin, and so I sneak down a spiraling staircase and perform a sneakstrike on his sleeping body. I finish him off quickly and run back upstairs to avoid the guards I’m sure I woke up. Sure enough, I notice one of the stronger bokoblins searching for me, having heard me taking out his brethren . He only makes it like, halfway up the stairs before giving up though. Then he walks back down to his bed, yawns, and lays back down. Right next to three explosive barrels. Which are right underneath this ledge I’m standing on.

They really only have themselves to blame.

I pull out a remote bomb and let it fall.

I took a little damage in the explosion, but it was so worth vaporizing that 'blin. I also somehow managed to not wake anyone else up. Blin’s are heavy sleepers, I guess. I make to sneak over to him to take him out next, but before I do I see that I have a good vantage point of the other treefort from where I am. Just a bunch of sleeping bokoblins, all laying around even more explosive barrels. I notch a bomb arrow and let loose more pretty fireworks.

*chef kiss*

I seemingly destroy almost everyone on that tree except a single dark bokoblin. I float right over on my paragliders and finish him off before floating back to the first tree. There are only two bokoblins still alive and I take them out quickly. Once all is said and done, I open not one but two chests, containing an Opal (again) and 10 Arrows. Thanks. Alone on the ground beneath the treefort, I suddenly remember that I left my horse back near the tower. So grumbling to myself, I follow the path back west and up the hill towards the tower’s base. Once I’m close enough I use my whistle and see Fabio galloping downhill towards me. I hop on him rather spectacularly as he nears me and we take off into a gallop that I sadly have to stop almost immediately. Something’s caught my eye - a cave.

I hop off Fabio and leave him by the path again. A cave means keese and I don’t feel like trying to fight those annoying little fucks on horseback. But before I see my first bat, thee chus ambush me. I switch to my weakest weapon and take them out quickly and gather up the delicious Chu Jelly. Then I approach the cave proper, and see that it is actually a tunnel.

From here I can see at least a dozen or so keese, all sleeping on the roof of the cave. I also see another moblin about halfway down the tunnel, facing away from me. A hero’s work is never done. I take a few of the keese out with arrows before just saying fuck it and floating down to the moblin. I end up knocking out most of them as I swing my weapon at him, and whatever is left after is easy pickins. I break open the nearby ore deposits to replenish some of my rupees once I hit Hateno. Then I exit the tunnel.

...why are you here?

Oakle’s Navel

I see...a big hole. Well it’s a pond really, since there’s water in it. But it is a loooooong way down to it. Oakle has a very very deep bellybutton. (Who the fuck is Oakle? Is he from one of the Oracle games? I didn’t play those.) Also a pretty empty one, as the only other living thing I see in here is an octorok. I take him out as he floats up, before he notices me, and watch as the spoils fall into the water below. I also see a ring of lily pads like I did on the plateau. Korok! I spot a cliff perfect for diving placed near it and jump, collecting my seed.

...oh goddamnit I have to climb all the way back up? No. Fuck that. I fast travel to the recently activated Hateno tower and float back down to Fabio. Suck on that, Oakle.

---

Heart Containers: 5
Shrines Completed: 9
Koroks Found: 31
Tower: Nonflammable (& Climbed)
Blood Moon: Has Awful Timing
Oakle’s Navel: Deep and Full of Monsters