The Towering Inferno

Well, I’m at the tower. Now to figure out how to get to the top…

Hateno Tower

There does seem to be a climbing path through all the thorns, but it looks incredibly annoying if not dangerous. Bluh. How were the sheikah capable of making a tablet complete with its own OS, but couldn't attach a fucking elevator to their towers. They already use them to go down into the shrines!

...I didn't do it.

I circle and climb around the base, looking up for a good starting point. My search isn't terribly fruitful, but I do end up finding a few ore deposits along the base. Might as well fill my pockets while I’m here, right?

...Okay, so, you know how if you strike Flint with metal you can create sparks that you can start a fire with? Both in real life and in the game?

Well, apparently it works on ore deposits too. Especially when those ore deposits are placed on top of patches of dried leaves and grass. Which then spread onto the large swaths of dried thorn bushes in the surrounding area. As soon as I see the fire I run back around to the front of the tower, watching as the flames spread quickly.

Then I notice the updraft…

...This is either going to be incredibly stupid or incredibly awesome...

I really hope the tower isn't flammable.

I take a deep breath and leap into the flames, pulling out my paraglider instantly and shooting up into the air on the updraft. I watch as the plants burn below me, the older flames going out as new ones spread further. I follow the updrafts towards the tower, and I am able to hover close to the tower as the fire spreads up it’s walls, clearing it of the dangerous debris. I seem to have hit a vertical wall as it were, so I go ahead and attach myself to the tower, about ⅔ of the way up. It’s not an elevator but it’ll do.

I climb to the nearest platform as I wait for the flames to finish burning and then continue my climb up. At the top, I activate the tower and update my map, filling in the entire East Necluda region. The whole thing is a valley, Fort Hateno seems to be the only clear way in a out, other then possibly making it up somehow through the Necluda Sea. Geography!

I look out from the tower and survey the landscape. I mark a few of the shrines I see with pins, at least the ones that seem to be accessible from this area. I can also see Hateno village in the distance, on the opposite end of East Necluda from me and the tower. The path I’m taking actually loops all the way back around to where I first turned onto the land bridge. I’ll be able to hit the places I missed on the way back.

I have the worst fucking luck.

I look down at Fabio, and notice that the tower is actually perched right above a pair of bokoblin tree forts. Tree forts which it seems I am going to have to pass nearby on my way to town anyway. Might as well get the drop on them while I have the advantage. I position myself and jump, pulling out my paraglider and beginning my decent. I’ll be able to land on the highest part of the fort, able to take down many of them totally unseen and work my way down to the ground.

Wait. What’s happening? Something’s happening.

FUCK. It’s another Blood Moon, right when I was about to land. FINE. I teleport back up to the tower and wait for the moon to pass. Last thing I want is for all the 'blins I just killed to immediately come back. Let’s try this again.

Marblod Plain

The second attempt is much more successful. Also, since it’s night-time, most of the monsters are asleep, making my job even easier. I land very carefully behind a still awake bokoblin guard, and quickly dispatch him with a hammer to the back of the head. I can see more of the ‘blins now, and notice some of the stronger variety among them, along with a sleeping moblin mixed in. Party.

Gosh those fireworks are pretty.

I switch to my stealth outfit, wanting to work my way down the tree and taking out as many of the bokoblins as they sleep as I can. The closest threat is a large sleeping moblin, and so I sneak down a spiraling staircase and perform a sneakstrike on his sleeping body. I finish him off quickly and run back upstairs to avoid the guards I’m sure I woke up. Sure enough, I notice one of the stronger bokoblins searching for me, having heard me taking out his brethren . He only makes it like, halfway up the stairs before giving up though. Then he walks back down to his bed, yawns, and lays back down. Right next to three explosive barrels. Which are right underneath this ledge I’m standing on.

They really only have themselves to blame.

I pull out a remote bomb and let it fall.

I took a little damage in the explosion, but it was so worth vaporizing that 'blin. I also somehow managed to not wake anyone else up. Blin’s are heavy sleepers, I guess. I make to sneak over to him to take him out next, but before I do I see that I have a good vantage point of the other treefort from where I am. Just a bunch of sleeping bokoblins, all laying around even more explosive barrels. I notch a bomb arrow and let loose more pretty fireworks.

*chef kiss*

I seemingly destroy almost everyone on that tree except a single dark bokoblin. I float right over on my paragliders and finish him off before floating back to the first tree. There are only two bokoblins still alive and I take them out quickly. Once all is said and done, I open not one but two chests, containing an Opal (again) and 10 Arrows. Thanks. Alone on the ground beneath the treefort, I suddenly remember that I left my horse back near the tower. So grumbling to myself, I follow the path back west and up the hill towards the tower’s base. Once I’m close enough I use my whistle and see Fabio galloping downhill towards me. I hop on him rather spectacularly as he nears me and we take off into a gallop that I sadly have to stop almost immediately. Something’s caught my eye - a cave.

I hop off Fabio and leave him by the path again. A cave means keese and I don’t feel like trying to fight those annoying little fucks on horseback. But before I see my first bat, thee chus ambush me. I switch to my weakest weapon and take them out quickly and gather up the delicious Chu Jelly. Then I approach the cave proper, and see that it is actually a tunnel.

From here I can see at least a dozen or so keese, all sleeping on the roof of the cave. I also see another moblin about halfway down the tunnel, facing away from me. A hero’s work is never done. I take a few of the keese out with arrows before just saying fuck it and floating down to the moblin. I end up knocking out most of them as I swing my weapon at him, and whatever is left after is easy pickins. I break open the nearby ore deposits to replenish some of my rupees once I hit Hateno. Then I exit the tunnel.

...why are you here?

Oakle’s Navel

I see...a big hole. Well it’s a pond really, since there’s water in it. But it is a loooooong way down to it. Oakle has a very very deep bellybutton. (Who the fuck is Oakle? Is he from one of the Oracle games? I didn’t play those.) Also a pretty empty one, as the only other living thing I see in here is an octorok. I take him out as he floats up, before he notices me, and watch as the spoils fall into the water below. I also see a ring of lily pads like I did on the plateau. Korok! I spot a cliff perfect for diving placed near it and jump, collecting my seed.

...oh goddamnit I have to climb all the way back up? No. Fuck that. I fast travel to the recently activated Hateno tower and float back down to Fabio. Suck on that, Oakle.

---

Heart Containers: 5
Shrines Completed: 9
Koroks Found: 31
Tower: Nonflammable (& Climbed)
Blood Moon: Has Awful Timing
Oakle’s Navel: Deep and Full of Monsters