Who the Fuck Taught the Sheikah about Marble Labyrinths?

Homeownership! Alright, so the first thing to gather on the list is 30 bundles of Wood. I’ve got a few on me that I’ve picked up since starting the game, but I’m going to need to go out and gather the rest. Lucky for me, we happen to be right next to a forest, and I have a big-ass axe on me. I float from the cliff overlooking Ginner Woods and head in.

Ginner Woods

I don’t wander too far, remembering the trouble that Nat and Meghyn found themselves in. I haven’t chopped a tree down since the plateau, but I remember the basics: swing axe at tree. I figure out quickly that it only works on trees under a certain size - the bigger ones I can’t even make a dent in.

Is this more or less masc then using an axe?

I get about halfway to my goal before my axe breaks. I could port back to the plateau or even the stable (I think) to pick up a replacement, but that seems kind of time consuming. So I use the next best thing: Remote Bombs! It takes one bomb to blow the tree off the stump, and another to turn the fallen log into bundles of wood. It’s a very explody gathering expedition. Eventually, I have my 30 bundles for Bolson. Next step: 3000 Rupees.

My recent trip to the armor shop has left me rather low on funding, so now I’m going to need to hunt for some gemstones. Lucky for me, right behind the soon-to-be-mine house is a mountain range! I actually can make out what looks like a few ore deposits when I scan from the bridge. Perfect. I find a path behind the house leading up, just around the pond.

I scan the sides of the path as I climb, I don’t wanna miss any potential caches. It’s actually fairly sparse, though I can confirm the existence of the deposits I saw from the ground. I also have some pretty nice views of my surroundings, Hateno Village and a good portion of East Necluda. As I am looking off into the horizon, I see something out of place below me.

*grumbles about Koroks*

Korok flower! I touch the first one, and it vanishes, moving further up the mountainside. It does this a few more times until I am actually climbing up the side of a particular peak. At the top, I finally see the flower turn white, and then I am one Korok Seed richer. I float back down to my original location on the path up the mountain on the paraglider.

Eventually I reach the ore deposits, and snag a few Rubies and Opals from within. Just enough to put me over the 3k mark I think! I take my earnings to East Wind, the general store, and swap them out for cash. With my down (and full) payment and the wood, I head back over to Bolson to see if we can’t get this started.

He accepts the wood, and then the money, and a short cutscene later and I have my home! Woohoo! There’s...there’s not a lot actually. I don’t even have a door. What exactly did you do with that wood, dude? Doors are important.

Farewell Hudson, I hardly knew ye.

...Hopefully there's a decent barber in Akkala.

After finishing construction, Hudson talks to me. Apparently Bolson is having him set up another branch of the constructions biz somewhere north, a region called Akkala. Never heard that particular name before but I’ll get there eventually. As he says his goodbyes, a new quest opens up. Guess I’ll definitely be seeing you again one way or another then, bub.

 From The Ground Up

From the quest details, it looks like I won’t be able to do anything with this one until I meet up with Hudson again in Akkala. I also notice that my original quest - Hylian Homeowner - isn’t completed either, merely updated. Talking to Bolson, who is still loitering on my lawn, he says he can do more for me. Time for some upgrades!

For 100 rupees each, Bolson can upgrade my house in a number of ways. There are displays for my weapons, bows, and shields, a bed to sleep in, lighting, a door (seems like that should be included but okay), trees, flowers...a lot of stuff. And I’m still broke.

I warp back to Dueling Peaks Stable and head into the mountain, sledgehammer in hand. I climb up the wall to the path where I first saw the ore deposits, and work my way down, breaking them open until I can’t find anymore. With that, I am just under the amount I need, and so I end up selling a few monster parts to Beetle to make up the difference. Then it’s back to Bolson.

That's gotta be a fire hazard.

It takes a while to get through all the dialog, but by the end of it I am 1400 rupees poorer, with a fully upgraded house. Once the last upgrade is purchased, the Hylian Homeowner quest is finally completed. I walk around the property, checking out my new trees and landscape. I even bring Fabio over to to check out the small stable,even though there’s no real point to it. It’s flavoring!

Inside, it is pretty nifty that I have a place to sleep for free now, even if I’d have to teleport back here to use it. The weapon displays are also pretty nifty. I store my Flameblade, Thunderblade, and Fire Rod here for the time being. They both seem like they might be on the rare side, for now at least. Plus, until I find Hestu and up my inventory slots, I don’t want to overload myself.

After puttering around my place for a bit, I figure it’s time to finish exploring the rest of the village. First up, the areas around my house! There isn’t much, other than my “property” it’s mostly just a small lake and stream between my house and the Horned Statue. It’s pretty nondescript. I catch a few fish, then examine the small stream. Just when I figured there was nothing more to find, I spot a lone rock on a small shore at the very end of the stream. My Korok hunting skills are getting better. Seed please!

That’s it for this area, I climb out of the water and back into the village. As I pass by the set of model homes, I suddenly remember that I haven’t actually finished the shrine here yet. No time like the present! I walk over to the already activated shrine and enter.

Myahm Agana Apparatus

      ~Myahm Agana Shrine~

Nope. Nopenopenopenopenope.

Oh goody, another apparatus. After walking in and looking around the place, it looks like another gyroscope trial. It’s different than the last one, this puzzle is like one of the marble mazes. I have to guide the ball through a maze by tilting the controller, which in turn tilts the maze.

I quickly learn about the maze’s hazards. Mostly it’s just open spots along the edge, which allow the ball to roll off the side, forcing me to start over as a new ball is dropped from above. It is more than a little frustrating, and I lose the ball many times. Eventually I make it all the way through...only to lose the ball at the very end. There is a gap between the maze and the path to the goal, and it looks like I have to 'jump’ the ball over it to reach it. Great.

I try a couple of more times the “legit” way before saying fuck it - in all the excitement and news surrounding the games release, I actually did learn about one shrine trick in particular that got a lot of attention. I even remembered reading an interview with one of the developers in which he mentioned that he did the same thing - I flip the entire maze over.

Fuck everything about this.

That causes the next ball to fall onto a flat surface, skipping the maze portion entirely. It just takes me a few times to flip the ball over the gap, and then it rolls down the ramp and into the slot, opening the gate to the monk. But I’m not done yet - there’s a chest in the maze that needs to be opened. I reset the maze, at least attempting to make the gap that must be crossed as small as possible, before heading up the ramp the ball rolled down.

It’s a decent sized gap, but with the glider I make it without problems. I navigate around a few turns of the floating maze before I get to the chest. Opening it gets me a nice sniper-like Phrenic Bow. I like the zoom on these...maybe I should considering storing a couple in my house. They would help with those annoying Korok puzzles.

I leap back across the gap and down the ramp, entering the room with Myahm Agana. He grants me an additional Spirit Orb, and I exit the shrine.

That just leaves...every other part of town except the shops to explore.

...Time for another beer.

---

Heart Containers: 5
Shrines Completed: 11
Koroks Found: 34
Explosive Logging Technique: Tested
Door for House: Purchased
Motion Control Puzzles: Still Bullshit