A Town Full of Problems

As I approach what must be Impa’s home, two guards posted outside stop me. The first guard, Cado, assumes I am some sort of intruder before taking note of my Sheikah Slate. I suppose if there was anyone in Hyrule who would know what this thing is, it would be the people who created it. He seems to realize who I am, and the other guard, Dorian, apologizes and allows me to pass.

They’re not the only people between me and Impa, turns out. After walking up the stairs, a young woman named Paya freaks out at being in the presence of a man. And then calms down when she also realizes who I am. Does the slate just scream 'eternal virgin’ or something?

This is exactly the look your grandma gives you
when she's done with your shit.

Finally I get to enter and meet Impa herself. Having no context except her words, she would have to be more than 100 years old. She remembers me, from before my sleep. And girl is missing a few teeth. It becomes evident that Link can’t remember her either, which poses a problem. Can’t exactly save the world if I don’t know what I’m doing.

Impa then tells me a tale - similar to the one King Rhoam told me - of a primal evil, a great warrior, and a princess with the blood of the Goddess. 10,000 years ago, the kingdom of Hyrule was a very different place. The Sheikah tribe created great technology and weapons and used to defend the realm from great monsters. A plan was put in place, and Calamity Ganon was sealed away using the Guardians (the octo-robots) and 4 large mechanical animals known as the Divine Beasts.

But nothing lasts forever. Ganon always returns, and so in an effort to be proactive, 100 years ago the kingdom located and used these great weapons to try and seal Ganon away once more. But they underestimated his power, leading to the events of 100 years ago, and my healing sleep. Damn, sis. But all is not lost! Zelda left a message with Impa for me, that also doubles as a quest:

That's a lot of robots. That I have to kill.

Free the Divine Beasts

Each of the beasts was in the control of one of the other races of Hyrule - Zora, Goron, Rito, and Gerudo. Then just like he possessed the Guardians, Ganon possessed them. She marks their locations on the map for me, and gives me a quest also titled Free the Divine Beasts. Similar to my quest to defeat Ganon, this seems like one I will have active for most of the game.


She also gives me another quest, this one related to the Sheikah Slate and my lost memories.

Locked Mementos

My slate, turns out, is broken. People at a research lab in Hateno village may be able to help me, either to restore the slate or my memories. She marks the village on my map, and sends me on my way. Buuuuut seeing as I just got here, I’ll stick around for a little bit and do some exploring first, starting with Impa’s house.

The first thing I noticed is that behind her is one of those glowing orbs from a shrine. It’s marked as a family heirloom of Impa and Paya’s, and I'm asked to not touch it, but I bet I’ll need to use it for some side quest later. It’s basically a key without a lock right now. Going upstairs, I find Paya’s room, and her diary. Not much in it right now, just an entry mentioning Zelda and myself, and an aunt named Purah.

...I'll be back for you...

As I make to exit the house, I notice another book that can be read: the Journal of Various Worries. Inside, it would appear that various members of the village have written down their concerns or troubles - all with Dear Abby style pen names.. There’s the man whose wife left him because he chose his Cuccos over her, a father of two worried that a new painter in town will find the great fairy fountain (I will, don’t worry), a thirsty arrow girl, a woman who misses seeing fireflies, and finally a girl going by “Papaya” that is hearing “voices” coming from a certain heirloom.

This is kind of a messed up town.

Let’s see if we can help any of these poor people.

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Starting with the guards posted outside Impa’s house, I decide to do a full sweep of the village and its denizens. Cado tells me about the Yiga Clan, and how they splintered when some of the Sheikah decided to become peaceful after seeing the damage their weapons had done after Ganon attacked. Dark stuff, and I can’t recall ever hearing the word Yiga before. Dorian let’s me know about some of the shops and amenities in town. He also let’s it slip that there is a shrine just on the outskirts, and that behind that a “guardian spirit” lives in the forest behind the village. Fairy fountain? Added to the to-do list!

Just in front of Impa's house are a series of statues. At first I thought they were Gossip Stones from past games, but on closer inspection they seem to be frogs. In front of each statues is a stone basin with an Apple in it. Except for one. Being curious hasn’t hurt me too much in this game, so I drop an apple in front of the empty statue. Korok!

ACA: Always Carry Apples

South of Impa’s house are 3 more buildings. The first, directly across from Impa’s house is the Shuteye Inn, run by Ollie. Ollie who seems to be asleep on the job, as I have to wake him up to talk to him. There are no tenants at the moment, but maybe that will change after nightfall. I’ll be back.

Next, just south of Impa and the waterfalls is a grocery store! High Spirits Produce, run by Trissa. They’re selling some Bird Eggs, Goat Butter, Swift Carrots, and...Bokoblin Guts. That’s very...specific. Speaking with Trissa, I learn that her husband, Steen, sells Swift Carrots and has such a strong rivalry with another farmer, Olkin, that he won’t allow his wife to sell Olkin’s pumpkins in her shop. Wow. I meet and speak with Steen outside. Not knowing who I am, he tries to convince me that 100 years ago The Legendary Hero ate nothing but Swift Carrots to become strong. Okay buddy.

Girl, you need to talk to your husband.

The next shop, across from the produce shop is The Curious Quiver, an arrow shop. I’m glad quiver upgrades don’t seem to be a thing in this game. In addition to regular arrows, they also carry Fire Arrows. They look pretty cool when not ignited, a red flame-shaped crystal on the tip. The owner of the shop, Rola, is so far the only Sheikah I’ve seen without white hair. Is she maybe only half, then? Unknown, but I do notice a quest marker over her head.

Arrows of Burning Heat

Talking to her a couple of time, I learn that she is the wife of The Bow Master - the gentleman who picked his Cuccos over his wife. She also can tell I’m an archer (was it the bow on my back, or the fact that I walked into an arrow shop that gave it away?) and has a rather thirsty request for me. Apparently, young men using bows is what really gets her engines revving, and since her husband left her, she hasn’t felt any passion. So, she’d like me to take my bow and use it and some Fire Arrows to light a set of torches around the town’s Goddess Statue.

This feels sacrilegious.

Located directly across from Impa’s home and next to the inn is a small shrine dedicated to the Goddess, complete with a small Goddess Statue in the middle. Surrounding the statue are 4 unlit torches - my targets. I think about trying to use the nearby campfire and regular arrows, but that angle won’t work so I just pull out my fire arrows. 4 shots later and my quest is updated. Walking back to Rola, she rewards me for my feat with 20 rupees. Not much, but all I did was turn a sad divorcee on. Wait, am I a gigolo now?

Done with this part of the town, I go back to the goddess statue in case I missed anything. Upon inspection it speaks to me, much like the giant one did in the Temple of Time. I can turn my Spirit Orbs in at any of these statues, not just the one on the Great Plateau. However, I am still one short for my next upgrade.

I’m pretty sure I saw that shrine Dorian mentioned around here somewhere…

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Heart Containers: 4
Shrines Completed: 7
Koroks Found: 18
Impas Met: 1
Towns Explored: Enh, like, ¼?
Bokoblin Guts Purchased: 0 why would you even sell this