Temple Excavation

In a flash of blue, I’m back outside Oman Au Shrine. The sun had gone down while I was underground, the in game clock reading 3 a.m. Just as I make to walk off the shrine’s teleportation pad, skeletons (Stalkoblins) burst from the ground, scaring the ever loving shit out of me! After I stop having a panic attack, I unpause the game, take out a stick, and beat the shit out of the undead sons of bitches. Which isn’t that easy. I go through a tree branch before I see that I have to destroy the heads to stop them from reforming. Also, they seem to be allergic to water, as going into any resulted in their instant deaths. Make sense, not sure how a skeleton swims exactly.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

They leave behind more parts than usual. The horns and fangs explain their hydrocephalic heads - they’re undead bokoblins. They also leave behind Bokoblin Arms, which are still moving, and double as weapons. Not gonna look a gift skeleton horse in the mouth. For multiple reasons. The sun should be up soon, so I’m not too worried about anymore showing up. If this game is following the same Zelda rules, they won’t be active during the day. So, why not celebrate my victory over the undead by creating a few more of em?

Instead of taking the long way around, I climb up onto a nearby ledge - I keep forgetting I can do that now. Ahead of me is the bokoblin camp, to my right the reservoir of water, and to my left a certain and squishy death. I try to take a look down but can’t see much beyond the fog. Probably intentional. I use my vantage point to scout the camp. They seem to be too dumb to notice me from this distance. Or to look...up. Ever. I see a few wooden crate, a couple of watch towers, and about four bokoblins. Party.

What do you think they talk about? Probably eating
things and the latest in loincloth fashions.

I want to use stealth to my advantage, but I’m not feeling too confident about hitting all my targets with the bow from here. I let loose a few arrows towards the group sitting around a campfire, and miss pretty spectacularly – something to practice. I do manage, however, to land an arrow close enough to the bokoblins that they notice and inspect it. That’s kinda nifty. And also probably the best I’m gonna do as far as distractions go. I rush down, skeleton arm in hand, and just start wailing on them. I have to switch to a second arm after killing 2 because these things are fragile as fuck. All that’s left to deal with is the one bokoblin on the top of a watchtower, firing his own arrows while I slaughtered his compatriots. I could probably run up the ladder fast and finish him off, but nope, I’m gonna practice with my bow.

It takes me a few tries – and I notice I can pick up the arrows he’s been firing at me, and any of mine that missed, so ammo isn’t an issue yet – but I nail him with a headshot. Moving around while also aiming will take some getting used to but it felt easy enough, and this is one of the areas in which I actually prefer motion controls – I can aim much more precisely. After he explodes into monster bits, the fight music dramatically changes, the camera zooms in on what I can see now is a chest with a skull on it, which turns from purple to gold as a bell chimes. Chests like these require you to kill all the nearby enemies before opening. Sort of a mini-mini-sidequest. It contains another Traveler's Sword.

HI THERE HOPE YOU WEREN’T FRIGHTENED I WAS
JUST GOING TO MAKE ALL THE LOUD NOISES

I clean up the campsite, picking up a couple of clubs, bows, and arrows, as well as various monster bits. Fun distraction, but now back to the quest: more shrines. Looking at the map, the next closest one is to the southeast in the Eastern Abbey. Sidenote: really digging how on the map all these locations have names. A lot of little world building details. I head out, passing the tower and I see the buildings I passed earlier that I was tempted to check out...
Fuck it. This is a Zelda game. I’m gonna revel in the side shit so why avoid it - time to explore.

I run back up the ramp the voice led me down and head towards the buildings. As I approach, I see a bokoblin along a stone path. Yay, violence. I pull out one of the clubs I just picked up as I run up and start swinging. I’ve taken out a full camp of these guys already, I ain’t a-feared. After a few swings I knock him out, and take his stuff, like a good hero.

The path is split, but to the right there looks like there’s only a single building, so I go there first. There isn’t much, I see an old barrel in the corner and I swing a club at it. After a few hits, it breaks apart and gives me a couple Apples. Cool. I wander back down the stone path towards the rest of the ruins. There’s another bokoblin in the next house, and when I enter, a blue chu also spawns. I take out the chu first, then the ‘blin, and collect the spoils. At the far end of the ruined building is a chest, which when opened reveals...new pants (Hylian Trousers)! I remember to equip them this time immediately, the defense increase too valuable.

Protect ya butt!

I continue my explorations up the next ramp, when the area title flickers onto screen.

The Temple of Time

Ooooohhhh shit, that’s right, thought I remembered that from one of the trailers. From all the talk the Old Man gave me, I’m guessing this references the original Ocarina of Time temple. Or at least as close to an allusion as Nintendo will do to the timeline stuff. I continue my exploration with a bit more reverence...still slaughtering the occasional monster. As I climb I start seeing these strange octopus statues. I saw some of them earlier, around the reservoir near the bokoblin camp. When I get close enough, I see I can interact with them, gaining more ancient technology parts like the robot in the shrine dropped. I guess these are the big-ass versions of those. Except these are all….it looks like they were tearing apart the buildings. Like they were literally in the middle of destroying the temple. Is that where all the people went?

...Maybe it's really elaborate performance art?

I get to the top, near the temple proper. There’s a bokoblin at the entrance, but I ignore him for now, wanting to explore the outside of the building first. I like being thorough. There’s not much beyond more half destroyed walls and statues. I pilfer some more robot parts as I wander the side of the building, and I see something glowing inside. I scout the rest of the perimeter - nothing but more statues - and then climb in through a hole. To my left, the temple’s entrance and the bokoblin I mentioned earlier standing just outside of it, and to the right, a large glowing statue, that looks very similar to the statue from Skyward Sword, scaled down.

It talks. Which isn’t that surprising in a Zelda game. What is surprising is that the statute ALSO wants me to bring it 4 Spirit Orbs. Hot commodity it would seem. There isn’t much else to do here, was hoping for some deep revelation. Well, maybe later. I exit the way I came in, taking out the 'blin by the door on my way out. I make my way back down to the entrance of the ruins. Time to get back to shrine hunting.

Easily my favorite Rube Goldberg machine.

I head back down towards the tower, deciding to take the path I had originally decided on after noticing a broken bridge on the map between the temple and the abbey. As I round the bend, I notice a solitary structure with boulder sitting on top, placed precariously close to a ledge. Nearby, I also see two bokoblins sitting around a fire, precariously close to some bomb-barrels. As a man of science, it was my duty to push that rock and see what happened. Which was: Push, roll, smash, boom. I gather up all their parts as my inner 5 year old squealing with glee at the destruction I have wrought. I also steal their dinner. Seared Steak. Not sure where from, the biggest animal I’ve seen around here is a bird, but enh, it’s been a long day.

I could eat.

---

Heart Containers: Still 3
Rupees: Still 0
Shrines Completed: 1
Sacred Temples Sacked: 1
Pants Shat: 0 (for now)