Link is Very Squishy

How do you get down from those towers?

Very, very carefully, it turns out. I'm happy to report that the penalty for dying I this game is just to return you to your last autosave point (but seriously why hasn’t Zelda had autosaves before, think about how many times you’ve died in a Zelda game only to realize you haven’t saved in HOURS). The only way down from the tower is to jump down a series of platforms. And the spacing of these platforms is...iffy, at best. I know all of this information because shortly after enjoying my view from the top of the tower, I was enjoying my view of Link’s crushed body on the ground.

Well, this is embarrassing.

So, on attempt #2, I very slowly, very carefully, make my way down the tower in one piece, and am greeted by my Old Man friend, on a paraglider. That would have been very, very handy. I can’t help but feel as though he rode it down here on purpose, to mock me. Rude. Extremely rude.

The Isolated Plateau

…and now he’s taunting me with it. It’s the only way to get off the plateau, and he’ll give it to me, but only if I do something for him first. Fine. Let’s get the Zelda fetch quest train started! He points out a nearby structure to me. Well, first he walks realllllly slowly over to a hill, and then points it out to me. It’s a shrine, he says, and there is treasure inside. He wants that treasure. Sounds simple enough to me. And so, I’m off. The shrine is on the other side of a small lake. It’s man made so I’m not sure it’s supposed to be full of water exactly. To the right, a camp of bokoblins. To the left, no bokoblins. I’m not quite feeling up to raiding a camp just yet, so I’ll take the scenic route.

I have one sword. Pass.

It’s a bit longer, but there is more to see. There’s a forest to west, and I see a few more 'koblins to avoid for right now. I also pass by a swamp, I guess, that will swallow you alive if you try to swim in it. So…don’t do that. There’s some clearer, safe to swim in water on the right and around the shrine as well. There’s a chest here too! It looks like it’s one of the DLC chests (which I bought that the day this came out, of course), and it is filled with a Ruby. I think there's another chest in the water too, but I can’t seem to get it out yet. Come back to that later. I step up to the pedestal (I’m sensing a pattern) to activate the temple, which goes from glowing all red, to glowing blue and red. The doors open, I step inside, and a platform activates to take me down.

Oman Au Shrine

       ~Magnesis Trial~

My first shrine & trial! Let’s get started.

First off, this Oman Au dude has apparently been waiting for me. Or for someone. I can dig it.

Look around, first thing I see is a big gate. Obviously, I want to get on the other side of it. There are also two slabs on the ground that seem to be made of metal, and another pedestal in the corner. So, after looking around for a second, I make a beeline for the pedestal. After the usual glow-glyph-splash routine, I get my first Rune! As the name of the Trial would imply, it’s magnetic. Well Magnesis, technically. I flip it on as per the instructions, and everything goes red. Except for those two metal slabs, those are bright yellow.

I wonder what I can use this on. Any hints?

So, using my detective skills, I point my magnesis rune at the BRIGHT YELLOW OBJECTS and turn it on.

And hey, now I can move it around. I screw around a little, swinging it about wildly and banging it into things just for the heck of it. Once I’m done, I grab the other slab and fling it to the side. Looking down in the hole, there’s a pathway, and some water. I drop onto the pathway and follow it underground, eventually putting me on the other side of the gate. First shrine puzzle down! On the other side, I climb up a set of stairs and am met with a wall made of stone cubes. Well, mostly. One of the cubes is the same shiny black as the slabs, and turning on my rune confirms that it is metal and magnetic. I grab a hold of it and pull it towards me, dropping the stone block it was under down a level, allowing me to drop this one and climb up them to scale the wall.

Kinda cute. Except for the lasers.
Okay, even the lasers.

I drop onto the other side of the wall, and the game’s music changes. And I can see why – there is a robot here (A Guardian Scout). Aaaaaaand it’s shooting lasers at me. Fuck it, time to put that sword to good use. I rush in, doing my best to avoid another laser blast, and just start wailing on it. It doesn’t take long before it explodes in a cloud of sparks and smoke. It leaves behind some ancient screws and other machine parts. Mooooore stuff! It doesn’t look like I have an inventory limit, at least not for the collectable stuff I’m finding.

I look at the rest of the room. I’m on a slightly raised platform, surrounded by fairly shallow water. There’s another two platforms in front of me, the first 2 connected by another large metal slab. I cross it without issue, and pretty easily figure out what to do next. Once on the middle platform, I grab the metal slab with my Magnesis, and then move it from between platforms 1 & 2 to 2 & 3. Once the slab is down, I cross the last gap without any issues.

At the other end of the final platform are two more large metal slabs, though these seem to be acting as a door. I can see a tract on the floor where the doors apparently would swing open. But, before I do that, I take notice of a floating platform just to the left of the doors, with what appears to be a chest on it. I say appears because it’s kind of a weird looking chest. No way to get up to it though. I turn around and turn on my rune to grab the slab I used as a bridge, but I’m pretty sure it’s not long enough…

This feels like cheating.

It ends up not mattering, because as I turn the rune on, I can see the chest change into bright red – its metal! So, I use Magnesis to grab and open it, and get a Traveler's Bow. I didn’t even have to wait four or five dungeons to get one out of a big chest. I pocket it, and then move back to the metal doors. I grab one and swing it open, opening the way to a staircase, and a glowing blue cage that seems to have someone sitting inside of it.

The box has another glowing eye symbol, and as I approach it, I’m given the option to interact with it. Link reaches out and tentatively gives the symbol a touch, causing it to glow brightly, with the whole cage following shortly, before shattering into fragments of blue light. The seated figure, an emaciated monk, is Oman Au, the voice speaking to me earlier. He explains my purpose, and then gives me a Spirit Orb – the treasure that the Old Man wanted. After talking to me some more, Oman Au’s body disintegrates into green light, and I am transported out of the shrine.

Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage: Oman Au

Well that was…interesting. Before I have a chance to digest, the Old Man comes flying in, taunting me with that glider again. He’s happy I got him the treasure, but now he says he wants three more. Okay #1: how dare you? #2 What the hell dude? That wasn't the deal. Not cool. There are three more shrines on the plateau I have to visit and collect spirit orbs from, and THEN he will give me the glider so I can get off the plateau. Fucking moving goalpost bullshit. It’s not all useless though, he shows me how to use my map to fast travel, and wants me to use it to get back to the top of the tower that killed me. Buh. Fine.

It’s actually pretty cool looking. Link starts to glow blue and float, before being transformed into blue tendrils of light. Then it cuts to the tower, specifically a blue circle on the ground that started glowing after I activated the tower. There’s another one at the shrine I just finished, so I’m guessing those are how the game marks fast travel spots. Cool. Also…he’s here. How the fuck did he get up here so fast? Or at least, what is the games explanation for that, because…bullshit.

...bullshit...

He shows me how to look in first person (which is pretty meta) and has me scout out the locations of the other shrines on the plateau. I spot the three of them, and then a fourth that looks like it’s WAAAAAAAY of the plateau. I am able to set markers on far away objects, multicolored and glowing into the sky. They only show up in first person view, and on my map. So much non-Zelda stuff in a Zelda game, but so far all of it – the styling, the names, the utility – feels right at home.

I guess it’s time to get started? I start to climb back down the tower, very, very carefully.

Then I remembered the thing I was just taught, and fast travel back to the completed shrine.

Dummy.

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Heart Containers: 3
Rupees: 0
Shrines Completed: 1
Old Men Disintegrated: One too many
Old Men Taunting Me with Cool Stuff: Also one too many.